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Are you too picky?

clauemi

clauemi

Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2011
Messages
237
I've been told before that I am too picky when it comes to guys. I don't think I am but I also think I deserve to be picky. I've had a couple of bad relationships in the past that showed me valuable lessons and I try to avoid making the same mistakes. I also would prefer to be alone, just me and my kids, than to spend time with someone that makes my life miserable. My friend says that I am going to spend the rest of my life alone if I keep pushing opportunities away. I hope I am really not that picky but sometimes I do wonder if I said no to someone that could have been special. I haven't dated anyone in the last 2 years, not even just to have fun and go out with someone. I have had a few guys ask me out or flirt with me here and there but I always find a reason to say no. Do you think that's normal or am I being to serious about it?
 
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It depends on the reasons you state for pushing a guy away. If it's because he has a funny accent, has the wrong colour hair or something equally superficial then you are being too picky. But if it's for unacceptable behaviour, fundamental differences in opinion then fair enough.
 
I've always been picky. I just got lucky and found a really great guy. I would never be with a guy who talks about how hot other chicks are or who watches porn.. that in and of itself is picky. I also wanted to find a guy with a great sense of humor and someone who I can carry an intelligent conversation with- those were musts. I found a man who fit all of that (and much more).. so I just happened to get really lucky I suppose.
 
There's nothing wrong about being picky. And from your post, I feel that you're not picky, you're just cautious. After all, you have children to think about. If I were you, I won't be so bothered about being alone but rather I would concentrate my time on raising my children right.
 
It is okay to be picky as long as it's good stuff. For example, not dating a guy because his teeth are not straight enough is a little ridiculous. However, if you don't date him because he has commitment issues that is legitimate. I guess the main thing to avoid being so picky about is looks. Also, if someone's personality doesn't gel with yours that is also a valid reason for refusing to date them.
 
I think it's okay to be picky, too, so long as you don't overdo it. If you're willing to compromise some little things but won't budge on the big stuff, then you're doing it right. You've been burned before and you're not willing to go through that again, then so be it. Hopefully you find a guy who meshes well with you and the wait will be worth it. :)
 
I'm not "picky", but I definitely know what qualities will turn me off. I'm very lucky about my boyfriend right now, he literally has nothing that I don't like, plus he's pretty much my ideal partner :)
 
I am not so much picky but for me there are some limits, I am not to bothered about hair color, weight etc. I focus more on personality, if he is easy to get along with, have a few things in common, behavior and attitude, that kind of thing. I don't think its wrong to be picky, just so long as over the top kind of picky. :p
 
You have a right to be picky. You have 2 young children. I think you should go with your feelings. When I was young I would have to be head over heals, mad crazy, have a mad attraction for a guy, or I did not want them. I would go 1 - 2 yrs without going on a date because of this. You will meet the right person at the right time. Relax and enjoy your children while they are young. It will happen when you are least expecting it, and he will be all you ever dreamed of. Don't settle for any less! :)
 
I'm not so much picky as I am unwilling to settle for anything less than what I feel I'm worth. Besides the fact that I have 3 children and can't afford and am unwilling to have any old riff raff around my children. There's nothing wrong with being picky. If you're choosing someone to spend time with, why suffer through someone with a personality that you abhor?
 
It is normal to be picky because you have to be satisfied with your partner and be able to be comfortable. Everyone has standards . NO woman should settle for less than what they deserve. If that's who you are destined to be with then there will be chemistry. When there is children involved you have to do what is best for you and your family. Well wishes to you !
 
I don't think I'm picky with how someone looks etc. I mean people always tell my boyfriend that he needs to cut his hair because he looks bum,strange,etc. Then when they turn to me for my opinion I always shrug and say, "I like it, I mean sure it's puffy but it's not dangerous or anything." LOL sorry, anyways i don't really care. The only thing I'm really picky about is that I guess I can't stand buffy guys.I always tell him no when he mentions it lol.
 
Nothing wrong with being picky. In fact, you have to choose who and what you allow into your life...and that often means saying no to many people and things. Just be truthful with yourself...as to 'why' you are saying no. There are many brilliant guys out there and often finding the one that is right for you (at that point in time) means saying no to a thousand others.

Nobody takes the first guy that looks at them: you need to discern.
 
It doesn't seem as if you are being too picky. Sometimes it is important to be picky about things in order to have a great relationship. You don't want to just date anyone. You could run into problems like cheating and getting your heart broken. I think being too picky about a relationship is a good thing, unless they are minor silly things like his height or eye color. You will find the right guy someday!
 
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There's nothing wrong with being picky. My girlfriends tell me that I'm too picky, but they all have guys who drive them nuts. And not in the good way. Its just not worth the stress to me. I know what I'm looking for in a mate and I'm not talking about physical appearance. I'm looking for a man of substance.
 
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