Thinking About An Ex

[Dreek Lass]

I am discovering, as I get older, that I am actually quite a possessive person. I like things to belong to me lol. I like my things, and I know that people are not things, but when I am in a relationship I kind of see the other person as the other half of me for that period of time in our lives.

But yeah, recently my friend discovered that her boyfriend was still speaking to his ex, and it wasn't in a sexual manner or anything like that. Just casual talk, and my friend somehow made peace with it. I had to commend her because I would not have been ok with that if the situation had been in my backyard.

How would you feel if your partner was talking to an ex?

 

[claudine]

In general, I'm very jealous and possessive and I don't like when my boyfriend is talking to other girls
On the other hand, exes are exes for a reason and I'm sure that he doesn't care about them anymore, so I wouldn't forbid him from keeping in touch with them if he wanted to do it. I feel that I should trust him and I slowly learn how to be less insecure. It's not easy, but I know that it's right

 

[Ayane]

Just be careful. From one horrible experience I was in. My boyfriend and his ex were friendly for awhile. They chatted as friends and I was in a jealous brew. you can find my post if you want. (Though I wasn't very kind on the words there. It was frustrating and maddening. )

Jealousy is a dangerous thing. It can make you lose trust and being possessive can push the person away.

If the talk is casual let it be, but you need to pull your boyfriend aside and ask if he isn't telling her too much about your personal lives together. If the ex still has feelings she won't be pleased. In fact I found out that the EX and him were joking about me and I was furious! I think its possible to be friends with the ex, but to an extent. I'm not asking you to monitor his emails or anything because that is a big flag no!

But you should at least ask him not to bring you into the conversation. Or your relationship. xD

 

[angelle]

My partner talks to his ex all on the time on Facebook, and I think it's disrespectful. He will lie about but then I always catch him messaging her on Facebook. Sometimes I will walk behind while he's on the computer and notice that he's messaging his ex. I don't say anything beause he's going to continue doing it whether I like it or not. She even goes to his house on many occasions. I like to conduct myself as a woman so I will speak to her when I see but she ignores me. That alone lets me know that there might be something going on with her and my boyfriend. I don't know why people have to carry secrets like that. If they want to be together, they can. All they have to do is tell me. Stuff like that is not a big deal to me. Boyfriends come and go so I wouldn't have an issue with moving on the next.

 

[Trellum]

Its funny you talk about this, Dreek! As I am getting older I'm also starting to actually realize I'm quite possessive and jealous! I thought I wasn't, until I met my current boyfriend. When we started dating I wasn't jealous at all, but as things got more serious I started to feel jealous and be possessive. It's funny, because when we had just started dating I didn't really think or cared about what he was doing or why he didn't reply my text - now I do and I hate it.

With that being said, yes, I would mind it a lot if he spoke with any of his exes, even tho his past relationships didn't last too long and weren't even that meaningful. I'd still mind him, and truly wonder why he is doing that. I know he would feel the same!