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Things kids say


New Member
Sep 11, 2004
in my own world mostly
k what have you heard little kiddies saying that has either been really really funny or just downright embarassing?

I could fill a book with my neices outbursts here's number one......

Picture the scene: Your standing in the kitchen and your 2 year old neice is tottering around ...... she walks into the living room and trips over falling flat on her face.....

She stand up, dusts herself down and declares in a very loud yet babyish voice...

" F*CK*NG CARPET!!!!!!!!"

Trying very hard to look serious, you tell her...."Lauryn !!!!!! don't say that it's BAD !" and put on a very stern face

she looks at you, nods her head and says "OK"......

then turns around, looks at the floor again and declares......

"BAD F*CK*NG CARPET !!!!!!!!"

:woohoo: ....OK I know we shouldn't laugh at kids swearing but it really was funny
Having babysat since i was 15 yrs old, and nannied for 4 years i could fill this thread lol!!

Here's one.... I was nanny to a 6 month old baby and a 3yr old... both girls

We had a trip to the Post Office one day.... whilst I was being served, the 3yr old was at the opposite end of the Post Office looking at something, when all of a sudden i hear her sweet innocent voice shouting me....


"Yes?" I reply......

"My bottom hurts, will u look at ti when we get home??"

*cringe* :blush: :lol: :blush: :lol: :blush: :lol: :blush: :lol:
and another one......not so much what was said this time as to what she did

OK, my cute litle nephew is just at that age when if you smack yourself in the face with a teddy or summat he creases up with laughter.........so after watching her mum hit herself repeatedly for Lewis's amusement, my 5 year old neice decided to get in on the action....

waiting for him to reach the kitchen in his baby walker she shouted out......"Lewis ! watch this !".......walked over to the washing machine......and...........headbutted it !!!!!

yes she really did head butt the washing machine......very hard......and then stood there with a dazed look on her face for a ful 2 minutes before she said....."Oooooooooooow that hurt !"

On the plus side tho.......Lewis laughed so much he turned purple :lol:
Imagine putting a plate of dinner in front of a 3 year old and getting the reply.....

"That looks magnificent" :lol:

kids eh!
LMAO snowy :lol: that would make a nice change from *poke poke*...."I'm not eating that !"

and yet another story, this time from my eldest neice.

Again .... to set the scene..... you need the loo in a busy shopping centre .... tell your 3 year old daughter to stand at the sinks while you nip into the cubicle ( which she does ). As you come out the cubicle you shouts to you very loudly...

"MUUUUUUUUUUUUM !!!!!!!! That lady over there".... < insert pointing at said woman here> ...."Is SKANKING ! She never washed her hands !!!!!!!!!"

needless to say, said "skanking" lady turned bright red at being given hygeine tips by a small child and fled


PS.....for those who don't know....Skanking = Filthy
:lol:!! What a crack up!!

My parents tell my younger brother, older sister and I funny stories from when we were little sometimes.

For example - there was a period when she was about 8 and I was 5 and my brother was 2 when we called our parents by their first name jsut to see if we could get a bite out of them. i did it because Sheryl was and Christopher did it because I was.

Or how, one time when Sheryl would have been 5ish and had a bit of a tantrum while we were going for a walk. She stopped walking and refused to move and I say to Dad, "Just leave her, Dad, she'll come soon" as if I knew everything. :p
I was sitting in the back yard with my sister inlaw and 3 year old nephew when a flock of birds flew over. My nephew pipes up with look at the f*****g birds. Both my sister in law and I were shocked but continued talking so as not to draw attention to it. :p
my son jason was about 3 yrs at the time..... he was sittin on the living room floor and out of the blue turned round to his dad and went " f**k you daddy!" :eek: i tried so hard not to laugh but couldn't help it. i covered my face where all u could see were my eyes. the tears were runnin and his dad said " look at what u've done........... u've made ure mam cry". his dad was tryin hard not to laugh. he left the room in creases.

Jeez you all must swear at home lots, eh?

My sister started talking fairly early on and when she was 3-4 my dad was fixing something.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing Dad?"
My daughter's home work for this weekend was making a sock puppet of thier favortite book character. She wanted to make a "my little pony " sock puppet.
When we had finnally finished she frowned at the end product and said " this looks like my little donkey "

:devil: :devil: right i have a 4 year old and a 20 month old!

My 20 month old is in the middle of potty training, he and my husband were in the bathroom having a wee my 4 year old came into the room and asked daddy "when i get older daddy will i have fluff by my diddle like you do daddy?!?" I fell on the floor laughing, so we went to the store and my 4 year old starting takling to an older lady in the store, he started telling her about his dads fluff and when he gets older he will have some, then he told her that even tho daddy has fluff his diddle was bigger than his daddys!!!! My husband left the store :blush: came back almost crying he had laughed so hard :woohoo: gotta love em :angel: :devil:
My 3yr old picks up a lot of words from her older siblings, her favourite at the moment is s**t.
The funny thing is she uses it in context. Imagine seeing a little child kick their toe and they automatically yell out s**t.
Tasha is at this moment on a caravan weekend with her grandparents and some family friends.

According to mi mum she has this morning broadcast to all the family friends that her grandad was a woman until he met nanny then they got married and he became a man!

How's that for blowing yer cover!

Needless to say mi dad's not impressed! lmao!