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The 30 Day No-contact Rule. Thoughts?


New Member
Apr 12, 2016
In a way to clear negativity from my life, I have put certain people on a 30 day no contact rule. These are the re-offenders that I have allowed too much space and sway on my emotions. Having been a people pleaser, I often put others before myself in way too many occasions and it leaves me burned out and frustrated--but having been a person to be of service to others have found that it requires me to change a piece of myself that is rooted in my past. So far, I am pleased, but have gotten the typical responses that sway between anger, disbelief, care, and concern. I should've done this a long time ago. So powerful girls of the forum, have you ever initiated a no-contact rule, and how has it worked for you? Do you think that this should be a non-confrontational way in order to take back one's life and value? To add, at the end of the 30 day period, I am not going to jump on the phone immediately. I am amazed at the level of peace I have been able to create in such a short span of time, that has given me the strength to schedule my time accordingly and not be washed out by the ideas that women must always give and be polite when it comes to the lives they live.
Surely though, people, in the main, are neither deserving, as such, nor undeserving, so surely any solution should be no more absolute. It should not concern what one does so much as the frame of mind when one does it. To stand out from the rest is too often to lose power, and it is lost through disassociation. Fine for philosophers, but at least they may be getting paid as reward for actively avoiding friendships.
It's up to you, 30 days, a week, or a couple of weeks. You decide what you wish. I decided a while back just because I have email, a phone, and social media accounts I am not obliged to log on or answer any messages unless I want to. I don't listen to voicemails, and I answer emails when I am ready.

If someone contacts me and I don't wish to respond, then I don't. If I don't want to meet up then I don't. Simple. You have control.
I think it's important to do what you feel is best for you. I've never instituted such a rule, at least not formally, but if it works for you, more power to you.

Like @Gabriellea, I'm learning to do what I need to do in order to take care of myself better. Whatever form that takes, we all need to be able to say no and do what we feel is important for ourselves.