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Husband: Want a quickie?

Wife: As opposed to what?


What is the insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?

The man.


What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.


Why did Moses wander the desert for 40 years?

He wouldn't ask for directions.


What the quickest way to a man's heart?

Through the chest with a sharp knife.


When do you care for a man's company?

When he owns it.


What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

Close the door.


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