Ever Wonder Why?.................
- Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?
- Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
- Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
- Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
- Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
- Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
- Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
- Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
- Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
- Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
- Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
indestructible black box?
- Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
- Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
- In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
- On a Myer hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
- On a bag of Chips:
- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
- On a bar of Palmolive soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)
- On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
- On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
- On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????...)
- On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
- On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
- On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???)
- On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?)
- On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
- On Nobby's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
- On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
- I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
- On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)