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Potty Training

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Parenting' started by Tia, Dec 11, 2004.

  1. Tia

    Tia New Member

    My 3yr6mth old daughter is the youngest and I thought I'd have no problems potty training her. Her brother and sister were self dependant at 3yrs.
    I waited until she was 3 and a bit, till it got warm but she screams at the site of undies and the potty. If I'm lucky I may get a minute of potty time once a day.
    Today we went swimming and after a while she got out and got dried, I put a nappy on her and 10 mins later she wanted to go swimming again. Her nappy was flooded, she'd held on until the nappy was back in place. She will sometimes take off a poopy nappy and wipe her bottom then take a clean nappy to Daddy to put on her.
    She's obviously got control of herself and it's just a mind struggle, has anyone else ever gone through this?
  2. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I struggled with the wee boy I nannied for a few years ago. When I started looking after him, he was 1 and half.

    At around 3 ish his mum tried potty training, and he just wasn't interested, altho, like ur wee one, he knew when he needed, and knew when he'd done.

    I'll never forget the advice we got told in college.... it was basically to leave the child to decide for themselves when they are ready. I think the best advice I can give, is to try to let her roam without a nappy on as much as possible.... that way when she has a nappy on, it will feel uncomfy for her.

    I made the mistake (easily done) of getting furstrated when the wee boy had accidents, or refused to sit on the potty. They say, and I totally agree, praise is better than discipline. Try leaving the (clean) potty lying about so it's around her when she's about the house. I know it may be gross, but does she ever see u using the loo? Lead by example? Something else... does she enjoy stories? What about reading to her whilst she sits on potty for 5 minutes?

    Anyone else got any suggestions?
  3. Tia

    Tia New Member

    Hi Snowy,
    Thanks for the reply. I've just been told by experts that they don't worry anymore until the child is 4 to 4 1/2.
    J is not interested in watching anyone go to the loo, and you can't leave the nappy off her as she'll scream the house down. It's like a security blanket for her, at the moment when I go to change her nappy I take off her nappy then take my time going to her room for a clean one. At least she gets a min or two without one on.
  4. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I know it's frustrating, but personally, i would leave it for now. If it's an issue for her, she'll retaliate and dig her heels in further. Give it a month or so and try again?

    I wouldn't worry too much either, I agree with what u said, she will come round when she's ready :)
  5. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    My daughter came out of nappies at 2yrs and 4 months and it was her decision but then at 3 she went back a bit and would insist on a nappy when she needed a poo. I decided best thing was not to fight with her and now at 3yrs 4 months she is back to being nappiless during the day and is now wanting to try no nappies during the night.

    Toilet training should not be a battle of wills it should be at the childs rate with encouragement.

    You could try what i did and that was a reward system. Kandoo do a passport and stickers thing where when they do a toilet on the toilet they get a star to put in their passport then after filling the first page they get to colour in a picture so on and so on. Tasha loved it ! It even includes hand washing and wiping their own bottom etc....

    Hang in there! It'll sort itself!

    Cara xx
  6. Tia

    Tia New Member

    Thanks Cara,

    Jordan has now turned four and I've been advised to still give her a few months more.
    Everytime we try to put undies on her she gets hysterical, so for now the nappies are staying. [​IMG]

    I am at least making her be honest with me, if I know she's done a poo I will question her until she tells me yes that she has a poo.
    The same with being wet, I'll keep asking her until she tells me the truth that yes she is wet.
    At least it's one thing on the way to potty training.
    Having Jordan confirm what she's feeling in her nappy.
  7. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    At least she knows when and what she has done. So she has that aspect of it. And if putting real pants on her, upsets her so much, to be honest, I don't think it's worth enforcing.

    When it's hot and summer is here, the more she toddles about freely (nappy-less) like out in the paddling pool etc, the less I think she'll want to wear a nappy.

    I know how difficult and frustrating you must feel, I've been there. But like Cara says, what about a star sticker chart? Involve her from making it from scratch. And even if she wears a nappy all day, but when she needs a wee... she goes to the toilet.... reward her with a star. I think she'd soon get sick of them.

    You'll get there [​IMG]
  8. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    Yeah forgot to say - try the pull up pants cos as i told Tash - they're "big girl" nappies lol and she loved them! Made her feel safe in her nappy but also like a big girl cos she could pull them down when she wanted a wee!

    To be honest if knickers are the issue as long as it's safe to do so let her run around knickerless as much as she likes - may help.

    You'll get there - every child has their own pace.
  9. Tia

    Tia New Member

    I've got some good and bad news.

    I've finally got Jordan into undies on Monday, she wet herself a few times.

    On Tuesday she continued to wet herself so in the end I told her to take off her wet pants and go get clean ones herself and put them on. I made it clear I wasn't going to change her anymore. I also got one wee in the potty at bathtime. [​IMG]

    Wednesday, I kept taking her to the potty and she only had one small accident. [​IMG]

    Today, no accidents and she has starting taking herself to the potty. [​IMG]

    I'm leaving poo's and night nappies till later. we're all so proud of her. [​IMG] [​IMG]

    Now the bad news, in order to get Jordan into nappies I've been trying to bribe her, McDonalds didn't even work.
    As you all know she doesn't like pre-school and started carrying on 3 days before she was due to go. In the end I used the bribe put on pants and you can stay home thinking that it wouldn't work but at least she'd stop going on about school.

    Now I have to go find out what is so wrong with pre-school that she gave up her beloved nappies to escape it. :umm:
  10. nikki

    nikki New Member

    Ben was such a pain to potty train, he refused until he was 3 to even try the potty, he was finally totally trained by the time he went to school... just lol. Joel decided he didn't want to wear a nappy any more just before he turned two and now he still has the occasional accident and wears a nappy at night
  11. HertsLady

    HertsLady New Member


    I have a little boy, he was 3 in March and he is exactly the same! he hates not having his nappy on, he hates the thought of the toilet and wont go near a potty but doesnt mind wearing pants but he just wets himself. I guess he isnt ready and I will have to keep on trying but it's sometimes annoying when his sister was dry all day and at night by his age but hey ho, they're all different [​IMG]
  12. HertsLady

    HertsLady New Member

    I didnt read this message before but well done with the getting her to wee on the potty, even if you have had to bribe her. Maybe now she'll want 'big girl' knickers all the time [​IMG]
  13. Tia

    Tia New Member

    Thanks everyone, we've also got poos in the potty now. [​IMG]

    I've pulled her out of her pre-school and have starting working with another one to get her use to it. [​IMG]
  14. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    SOunds like she's coming along nicely Tia, so proud for you guys!! Nice work!!!

    And Hertslady... boys are always that bitty slower!!! But don't worry, as I think Tia can reassure you, they will do it when they are good and ready. There's absolutely no gain in trying to force the issue..... I've tried!!

    They are so stubborn and really do decide for themselves when they are ready.
  15. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    right - a couple of things to try - besides mcdonalds lol!

    1) Star Chart on bathroom door or fridge, every time she wears her pants (or pull up training pants) she gets a star, every time she asks to go to the toilet instead of filling her nappy she gets 2 stars, if by the end of the day she has more than 4 stars she gets a surprise! If stars don't work then try smiley faces and unhappy faces.

    2) Kandoo Toilet Passport - a page for when she goes to toilet, a page for when she washes her hands etc... she has to fill the page with stickers (of which she gets to chose which colour) then she gets to colour in the picture!

    Tasha was dry during daytime to start with then she went backwards fora month or so and would only do a poo in her nappy - i decided not to push it as stressing with her and arguing etc... didn't work - within a short period she started doing everything in the toilet again, alot of praise when she does well and ignoring when she does nappy may help!

    Hope this helps!

    (soon to be Student Midwife, Sept 2005)
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