for being so scarce believe me i dont know how i am goin through it i feel like i am goin to . ok well bryan got out of the hospital and still has the pain come and go. he has been working 430am to 430pm to make up for the time that he had missed cause he didnt get paid for it. we are used to paychecks of his being at least $1100 every 2 weeks well he got only $400 bucks this check. That doesnt pay electric cable phone water no less rent. so i paid the electric and water and had to save the rest for gas (being it is $2.39 a gallon here.) and cigs for him. He was tryin to quit but he cant just quit so he has slowed down alot from 30 to 10 a day. Well to top it off i was supposed to go back to work bout 2 weeks ago and i was told being i was a temp the department i was working for had to get financial approval because it is for the school board but the boss told me it would not be a problem cause they loved me and needed me. well i get a call yesterday that i will not be going back to work because their budget cant fit me even if it was part time. so i just lost over $300 a week. So we are running about $800 behind not including food that we are running low on. Then i have been gettin bailey my youngest ready for kindergarden and being he has an iep for his speech i have asked that the head start test him because i dont want problems when he gets to kindergarden cause i know the teachers and they dont tolerate it... i will be in the principals office every day. he has adhd. he is on meds but not really doing much but you can tell when he is on them and when he is not. Well talking to one of the resource officers she is tellin me that he is goin to have to be tested for asperger's syndrome (which is a form of autism). I am not dealing with this well. This is why i have not been on cause of stress and just not sure what i am doin. i have also being goin to drs appt after dr appts for the kids. tomorrow i have to take bailey for his kindergarden physical and then i have both the oldest ones who have been playing little league baseball and softball so i am either at one field or another. practice 2 each a week and 2 games a week each. Lord will it ever stop depression has set in. I am now going to have to go look for a job starting asap. so please bare with me. sorry i am babbling.