merlin1974
New Member
Just wanted to let off some steam after getting some unexpected news today!
I split up with my daughters father when i was pregnant then got back together when she was born and split again when she was 4months for the final time.
It was a very bitter break up as i'd found out that the whole 8yrs we were together was a complete sham and that he'd lied about his family and everything.
This was made harder when i found on my first visit to his family that until the christening they hadn't known that either myself or my daugther existed and that he'd told his sister that i was an office fling that resulted in Tasha!!!!!!
Anyway i've made it a point that she gets to know his side of the family even though he has had no contact since she was 4 months as i believe she should know her background and form her own opinions etc...
Recently i decided i could cope and asked his sister to make the offer of contact with Tasha if he wished it when she visits them - i found out today that he's discussed this with his sister before and is adamant he wants nothing to do with his daughter and he is now married with 2 further children and has drawn a line under his past (rather swept it under the carpet) and wants no reminders!!!!!
I am now back to where i was when we originally split up! Furious, bitter and whazzed off!
This is a man who at 36 was never getting married and didn't want children so now my brain is thinking that he's got married and has 2 children (which are not his from memory) and this may sound caluculating (but i know him) but i think it's been done purely for financial reasons as his original CSA claim was £450 a month but as soon as he married and took on children he now only has to pay £180 a month (although he has only ever paid £100 a month since she was 12 months old and owes several thousand in back pay).
This is a man who married his first wife (i didn't know when we were together he was still married) because he said it as a joke and didn't feel he could get out of it. Spent 8 yrs with me adamanat that he was not into marriage and now after knowing someone just over a year is married with her kids?
How do i tell tasha who is now asking questions about why daddy doesn't love her and when will he be coming to see her - that he father doesn't want her at all????
Am gutted and in alot of ways heartbroken that he's decided to hide her existance in the same way he hid mine!
I split up with my daughters father when i was pregnant then got back together when she was born and split again when she was 4months for the final time.
It was a very bitter break up as i'd found out that the whole 8yrs we were together was a complete sham and that he'd lied about his family and everything.
This was made harder when i found on my first visit to his family that until the christening they hadn't known that either myself or my daugther existed and that he'd told his sister that i was an office fling that resulted in Tasha!!!!!!
Anyway i've made it a point that she gets to know his side of the family even though he has had no contact since she was 4 months as i believe she should know her background and form her own opinions etc...
Recently i decided i could cope and asked his sister to make the offer of contact with Tasha if he wished it when she visits them - i found out today that he's discussed this with his sister before and is adamant he wants nothing to do with his daughter and he is now married with 2 further children and has drawn a line under his past (rather swept it under the carpet) and wants no reminders!!!!!
I am now back to where i was when we originally split up! Furious, bitter and whazzed off!
This is a man who at 36 was never getting married and didn't want children so now my brain is thinking that he's got married and has 2 children (which are not his from memory) and this may sound caluculating (but i know him) but i think it's been done purely for financial reasons as his original CSA claim was £450 a month but as soon as he married and took on children he now only has to pay £180 a month (although he has only ever paid £100 a month since she was 12 months old and owes several thousand in back pay).
This is a man who married his first wife (i didn't know when we were together he was still married) because he said it as a joke and didn't feel he could get out of it. Spent 8 yrs with me adamanat that he was not into marriage and now after knowing someone just over a year is married with her kids?
How do i tell tasha who is now asking questions about why daddy doesn't love her and when will he be coming to see her - that he father doesn't want her at all????
Am gutted and in alot of ways heartbroken that he's decided to hide her existance in the same way he hid mine!
