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How Can I Overcome Shyness


New Member
May 9, 2005
Norfolk, Virginia
Hey, everyone. This the newbie, Levar from Norfolk. Not alot of guys talk about this, but I have a serious problem with being too shy about talking to women. I also feel like I am light years away from falling in love with someone. There are times when I wish God would suppress all my feelings so I don't have to feel tormented about it. Let me just spill it out. I'm a virgin at the age of 26 and its not that I'm all about sex, but I haven't even so much as kissed a girl before. That sounds strange doesn't it. Can any women give me advice as to how I can tell if a woman genuinely likes me?
Levar from Norfolk, Virginia
Thats the best chat up line if i've ever heard one... and well your shyness can be cured with some alcoholic beverages.. not to many though just a couple to calm the nerves, How do you know if a woman likes you.. well i always get confused at this one.. is she just sitting here listening to me because she likes me or is it just because im talkin to her and being funny.. but a good way to tell is through body language and what have you got to loose if you think a woman is interested.. ask her if she would like to go to the cinema sometime.. or go out.. it dont have to be hi.. wham bam thank you mam, but all in all if you dont have some sorta encline that they may like you you'll have to ask them
there is no dead cert way of telling, women are funny creatures
I totally agree on body language.

If a woman is busy looking around and not at you. Going "yeh, yeh, yeh" and not answering too great then you know she ain't listening.

So, look for the opposite

Like Bubbs said, ask someone out to cinema, or bowling, or just for a few drinks. A pub is a good place for a first date as there are so many people around that you don't feel so bad in those awkward silences.
Thank you both for your advice. Hopefully I will recieve more feedback on this in the near future. By the way, drinking is a no-no, but I thank you for your concern. As for body language, I can agree with that. I think that is a sign, but it was just that I didn't want to jump to conclusions, because some women who I thought were interested in me, were not really. They were just naturally upfront and touchy-feely with everybody. I just took it the wrong way and felt like an idiot afterwards. I guess my personal philosophy has been "Better safe than sorry", in fear of being rejected. Rejection makes me feel isolated sometimes, so I don't take chances. That way, I don't have to be reminded that I'm not wanted by someone. Still, I admit, it hasn't really helped me, except for the fact that it protected me emotionally at times, so I need to take chances for once in my life.
Again, thanks for the advice
You know what Levar?? EVERYONE feels the EXACT same as you describe. No matter how experienced a person is, male or female, old or young..... EVERYONE is scared of rejection, EVERYONE is scared of being told "You're not my type".

Don't be so hard on yourself. Relax and go with the flow!!! If a girl like you, and you like her, nothing will stand in the way of a "get together".

Stop worrying so much, as I'm pretty sure that the worrying is holding you back as well. Enjoy yourself... and by the way, alcohol is not needed
Just relax and enjoy, go with the flow!!!
Yeah, you're right Snow. Worrying is one of my demons, but I believe that I can conquer it if I have God on my side. Now, all I have to do is find that one girl who really captivates me. That has only been once in a blue moon. This time, I'm not going to miss my turn. Sometimes you just have to just have to go for it and jump out of the spin cycle (does this make sense, I don't know...lol), or else you will be in instant-replay for the rest of your life.

thanks for the advice
Hi ya :wave2:

How's about trying speed dating :umm:

You don't have to worry as much about those horrible moments of silence, because you dont get long enough the first time you meet them to introduce yourself and find out a little bit about each other.

It will give you more confidence in talking to women, you know that they are there to meet men, so you wont need to worry if they are seeing someone. I think that is the worst problem for everyone you don't know if people are single or not so you dearnt go and talk to them

At the end of the session you will know if anyone wants to talk to you again... If not there is always next time and you will be even better then
Get a few mates to come with you make it a good laff.

Hope you concider it as my male friend went to some when he was younger and he had a great laff and made some good female friends to not just dates

Good luck

thanks...you know I never thought of that before. Sounds adventurous. I'll consider that. So how would I find out where they do speed-dating. Looks like something I could get into, that is, if I have time. I live in Norfolk, Va. Do you know of any in my area. Just to let you know, I'm not a bar or night-club person.