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Holding On To My Wife-to-be

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by lonelynva, May 17, 2005.

  1. lonelynva

    lonelynva New Member

    How is everyone today. Let me start off by saying that I am single and have never been in a relationship....yeah, a virgin. Anyway, I am trying to stay faithful to my future wife, in other words, I believe that God has someone out there for me somewhere, but its hard to stay faithful, if you don't feel faithful and you can't see anything that would give you a sign to keep holding on. Again, I know there is someone out there for me, but I find myself easily distracted by the women I can see. And at the same time I know they would not give me a chance. Call it lust or dispair, whatever, but I have continuously made a vow to God that I would rather wait for him to bless me with my future wife soon. However, I have failed over and over again to live up to supposed faith. No, I haven't been with anyone ever, but to just think about another woman and to stop depending on God, to me, that is almost like cheating on my wife-to-be. I'm thinking, is my struggle all a waste of time or should I just remain single and ask God for more strength or something, against lustful feelings.
    Hopefully, someone here has some good advice.
    One more thing, I have an issue with a married woman at my college. I am attracted to her, but I know it is a big NO-NO to go after a married woman! It is so not me, but sometimes the thoughts flood my mind with any warning. It happens all day. I've hugged her from time to time and I think I should be more careful and stop doing that, because one thing can lead to another.
    What should I do?
  2. HertsLady

    HertsLady New Member

    Hello, are you saying you have a wife to be? I'm a little confused.....(thats not hard lol) and Nope going with a married woman isnt the best thing to do lol

    EDIT: Ok just re-read that...ok so you are single but want to wait to have sex with your wife when you do meet someone to marry? Ok, well that is a personal choice of your's, if you feel you want to wait then you should but I don't think it'd be cheating if you didnt wait. It's your decision.

    Sorry I was no help whatsoever lol
  3. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I would have to agree with you, and personal opinion would be to not have any relations with the married woman.

    But then, I am a very strong believer in NOT cheating on a partner, which is what she'd be doing with you.

    I'm not a religious person and I respect your beliefs. I'm not telling you what to do, and please don't take what I'm about to say as advice....

    I personally am due to get married next year, my man is the only guy for me. I truly have found my soul mate.... but he is not the first guy I have gone out with (courted, if you get my meaning?! Sorry for our scottish slang!!).

    If God has truly meant one and only one person for each of us, then why have millions of people around the world, had relationships before their "one"? but.... please don't use that as advise.

    Follow your heart
  4. lonelynva

    lonelynva New Member

    No, forgive me for confusing you...lol. I tend to yap about these things uncontrollably. Actually, I am not married nor am I dating, rather I believe that God already has someone out there for me. I'm saying if I believe that and then start messing with someone that God hasn't meant for me, then yeah, that is like cheating...to me atleast. Besides, even if I was to plan to go out there in the world and sow my wild oats and not wait until I find my future wife, I don't think it would be me. I tend to go for girls outside of my range anyway.

    hope that clears it up for you :umm:
  5. lonelynva

    lonelynva New Member

    thanks, snow and hertz for your comments. Sorry, mine were alittle confusing. you know, not having someone to be close to is like having a big void. I'm not saying I'm looking for someone to complete me, but just someone to complimment me. God doesn't give us desires for nothing.
  6. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I don't know you at all, but since you have joined here, having read your posts so far, i have to comment on this....

    I really think you are trying too hard to find either a partner for short-term or your mrs right, and trying to hard to please people.

    Stop trying, relax, and just go with the flow of life. I thought I was destined to be single, I have had bad experiences with men in the past and had resigned myself to being single. I did not trust men.

    I met my fiance by chance, and when I had least expected. What I'm trying to say here, is you need to live your live to the full, and stop living your life in order to find female company.

    I'm a big believer in fate, and whoever you are destined to be with.... you will be with her, no matter what. [​IMG]
  7. lonelynva

    lonelynva New Member

    to everyone...sorry for my nagging. Yes I guess I am trying to hard. Thats a bad habit of mine. Hopefully, I will be able to continue on this site. Please, ladies don't think that all guys are like me...far from it. If you desire, I will talk about something totally different. There is more to me than finding a girlfriend.
    Sorry Snow and others
  8. HertsLady

    HertsLady New Member

    I totally agree snowy, I think you will find the 'one' when you are least expecting it, I also found my hubby when I wasn't looking. Infact I'd had a rough time with men in the past and me and my hubby met and got on so well, it wasn't something I'd expected at all.
    So I think you should sit back, relax and the right woman will come your way [​IMG]
  9. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    Ok let me set something straight here without causing offence.... Levar, you pm'd me apologising for posting this... logged off the site saying I should ban you.

    Do not be silly. Like I replied, I moved this topic into the "Relationships" Forum as it is about just that.... relationships.

    Chill out!!! If you do something wrong, we will soon let you know!! So far you have been an angelic member.
  10. Bubbles

    Bubbles New Member

    I personaly would ditch the bible for a wholesome love live... especially in this day and age.. not many people save themselfs for someone..(kinda old rope now) thats ok if you are lookin for a nice church going lady that feels the same as you..(i doubt there is many of them about) but nowadays well here anyways.. most people have already been there done that.. or are "born again" christians(recovering alcoholics or drug users), but thats just my personal opinon.

    The best thing you could do is go with what you think is right and not what someone or a book tells you is right because lets face it no one is ever right these days unless your me [​IMG] [​IMG] anyways.. if you dont know what is right dont look for guidance from other people.. only you can choose your destiny. [​IMG]
  11. lonelynva

    lonelynva New Member

    thanks for the responses. I'm in an alright mood today. I just finished one of my finals and now I have one less thing to nag me. Anyway, like I said, thanks for the responses. Though some of them I wouldn't neccessarily agree with, I appreciate the effort. As for finding someone, I'm a bit worn out and I really don't feel like talking about it anymore--for a long time atleast. I know you all are like "Thank God".
    By the way, I believe that we shouldn't let people control us or give us misinformation, however I believe there is such a thing as absolutes. Its just something you can not escape from. When people suggest that there isn't an absolute way to do things or that we shouldn't have to conform to some particular ideal, thats just bogus, (no offence). Common sense tells us that we all believe in something absolute--even Aetheists. They believe absolutely that there is no evidence of God. Some will even say that there are no absolute truths. However, just by saying "There is no absolute truth" that is an absolute in itself.
    So its just something we can't escape from. Well I guess that is another topic all together...I got carried away again. [​IMG]
  12. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>
    Wouldn't life be ever so boring if we all agreed with each other [​IMG]

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>
    Told you to stop being so hard on yourself [​IMG] If we were "thank Godding", do you think we'd reply to your post? [​IMG]

    <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>
    Indeed, and don't let anyone make you feel that your beliefs are unimportant, or to try to persuade you to change your beliefs.

    Good luck with your finals, not that you'll need it [​IMG] [/b]

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