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Do you stay friends or not?

ctec67

ctec67

New Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
15
Location
Augusta, WV USA
When a relationship goes bad, do you continue (or try) to stay friends?

For me, when it's over, it's over. I feel no need to stay friends or in contact with that person. But I am with all relationships like that. I have a lot of tolerance and forgive, but I never forget. Once you crossed the line too far, I will cut all strings. Maybe that's wrong, but that's me.

Of course I most probably would have to adjust my thinking a bit (lol), if I had an ex-husband and there would have been children involved. As that certainly would be a completely different situation.
 
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I stay friends as long as the relationship isn't too bad. If the guy cheated or something then of course I would not want to be friends with someone like that. However, if we just decided to go our separate ways then I don't see why we can't remain friends. I think both people have to understand the relationship is over for that to work though. It gets complicated if one person is holding out on hope that they'll get back together.
 
It really just depends on the relationship. I've had it go both ways. When something really bad happens, it's hard to want to stay friends after. If it just turns out to be, you're just not in a good place for a relationship with that person, but nothing awful happened, then it's a little easier to try to mend a friendship that used to be there. Even when not happens, it's rare to go back to being really good friends though.
 
As much as I would want to be friends with the person, if the relationship is really bad, I would not make any contact first unless the pain and all of the other feelings have disappeared.

I think when I would feel that I no longer care what the person does with his life and the like, maybe, that is the time that I would try to be friends with him.
 
I generally remain friends with those that I break up with. Mainly because of my children. Even though they may not be their dad, they still form a bond and it is not my place to break it. I have learned also that just because it didn't work out as a couple doesn't mean that we can't be good friends. Some of my closest friends are exes. I try not to burn my bridges so to speak. :)
 
I had 2 relationships before HIM. They ended after 3.5 years and 2.5 years. I've been together with him for almost 10 years. So, as you can see, I am a 'long run' woman. I am still friends with the 2 guys before, even if life set us apart. We're in our own circle of friends and stuff, but, if we do meet each other on the street, there's enough room for a hello and maybe a cup of coffee. I had nothing bad to say about them all these years (it takes two to tango anyway) and am aware of my own mistakes. I don't see why, as long as we loved each others and had amicable splits, we should badmouth one another or be mean.
 
If possible, you should always try to end things on good terms, that is unless they betrayed you. Even friends should never betray one another, let alone a partner. But in cases not related to that, yes you should remain friends even after a break up. Especially if the two of you were friends prior to starting a relationship together.
 
I tried to stay friends once, but it just didn't work out. Apparently he still had feelings for me and tried to keep getting back into a relationship with me, but my feelings were long gone. Most of the other times the relationship ended badly, so we didn't even try to stay friends after that point in time. I guess, for me anyway, it really depends on how the relationship ends, but for the most part the friendships afterward just doesn't stick together very well.
 
Generally, I remain in a relationship (including friendships) as long as it is balanced, healthy and fun. If it moves away from that...sometimes we grow in different directions...I let go and move on. They then become acquaintances.

I do not cut all ties.

However, if there was an even slight element of abuse in the relationship - I am honest with them and move on, deleting all contact details.

Life is too short to waste time...
 
I am still friends with my ex husband because the reasons we broke up were not acrimonious. However, i want nothing to do with an ex boyfriend who cheated on me, so I think it has a lot to do with circumstances surrounding the end of a relationship.
 
I'm still friends with all my exes. We don't all talk as much as before, but we're friends alright. After all, before we had a romantic relationship we started out as friends. It depends on your ex and you if you both would forget about it or if you would make a fuss about it and refuse to have communications at all.
 
I've never stayed friends with any of my exes. Once it's over, that's it. I see no reason to stay friends. I guess because I don't believe that men and women can be friends without the men wanting more than friendship from the women. And I don't want my new boyfriend to be suspicious if I were to stay friends with my exes.
 
I've never stayed friends with exes. Things always ended terribly and I kept telling myself that someday I'd be mature enough to maintain some level of civility with someone I was no longer involved with. The older I grew, I realized it wasn't maturity or a lack thereof or even me at all. I picked some real losers and they stayed true to their loser-y qualities to the very end. They made it impossible to speak to without going insane. So for my sanity, I didn't maintain contact and I can't say I have any regrets. Now I'm married and don't really even think about this issue. Perhaps in another life, on another planet, I maintained healthy relationships with all of my past boyfriends or flings. Oh well ;)
 
I think if we were friends before we started dating there may be some hope of salvaging the friendship.
But at the end of the day, do I really want to have any ties to someone I broke up with? I mean, apparently
something wasn't going right or else we'd still be together.
 
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My old boyfriend and I still remain friends. He actually was my husband's and my lawyer for us for several different things. He probably now sees and talks to my husband more than I see and talk to him. He is a great guy.
 
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