Do Nice Girls Finish Last?

[Dreek Lass]

This is a good question, but it is pretty difficult to answer. I have known nice girls who have finished last and nice girls who have finished first because they were selfish enough to not get distracted by peers to achieve what they wanted to achieve lol. Then there are those nice girls who are just so nice or insecure that they allow themselves to be led around and told what to do, thinking that they are just going along but are really doing themselves damage.

 

[trishgl]

Nice does not have to mean stupid or slow. I'd like to think that I'm a relatively nice person but I can hold my own in a corporate environment so I'm no pushover. Just because you are soft spoken does not mean you can't get your message through, you can, you just aren't rude when you do it. Think immovable, a mountain isn't noisy but people take note of it. And just because you are nice it does not mean you have to swallow other people's (sorry about this) crap. You can say no and not feel guilty. In the 5 years I was with a big company I was promoted twice so I wasn't last by a long shot. Play nice but be smart.

 

[Sarahsj]

People often make the mistake of confusing kindness as being weakness. The irony of life is that anger and force are able to get instant results, but long term have major consequences and high payment. Love and kindness take time and patience in order to achieve the results we desire, but the long term benefit and result is extremely significant and majorly positive. It is like the story of the tortoise and the hare. Kindness and love are slow and steady, but ultimately they win the race, and the reward for winning is well worth running the race in the first place.

 

[claudine]

I believe that it's possible to be both nice and strong. Personally, I'm a very delicate girly girl, who always tries to be as kind as possible. But, at the same time, I know what I want from life and I don't give up easily. I don't let anyone manipulate me or use me. I deserve to be happy And of course you deserve it too! It's very important to remember about it.

 

[Trellum]

I try to be nice and respectful of people. It's just they way I am. But some people think being nice is the same as being weak and try to take advantage. I tolerate it a lot of crap up to a point. Then I usually end up "biting someone's head off!"

So why is nice seen as being weak? Do nice girls really finish last?

I completely relate to what you are saying here, I'm also considered a ''nice girl'' and I'm having so many issues because of that right now. Sadly we are seen as weak by other people, they just assume something that is completely wrong and is completely untrue! We are nice, not weak! We are just kind people who don't like to be rude!

Keeping a good balance is hard, even in a relationship, because being a ''nice'' girl is actually mistaken by weakness, I know because that always happened in the past with my ex boyfriends. I guess that is the reason they are now ex boyfriends! They just thought they could take advantage of me because I was nice; they thought I'd put up with a lot things.

In my current relationship I made it very clear since the start I'd not put up with certain things, I was also very direct and clear about some key points since the start. In other words: I was a bit blunt and assertive and that is why my current boyfriend respect me.

 

[SassyPrincess]

I try to be as nice as possible but I can stand up for myself and be very sassy if I want to.
I think that it's possible to be nice and strong at the same time .

 

[Zynni]

There's a big difference between being "nice" and being a doormat. I see a lot of people who think they are one in the same.
I think I'm generally a nice person, but I refuse to be a doormat.

Also, you might think "mean girls" are getting ahead, but their behavior usually comes back to bite them.

I believe that it's possible to be both nice and strong. Personally, I'm a very delicate girly girl, who always tries to be as kind as possible. But, at the same time, I know what I want from life and I don't give up easily. I don't let anyone manipulate me or use me. I deserve to be happy And of course you deserve it too! It's very important to remember about it.

Great post. You certainly seem to have your head on straight, and I know some girls who could learn a thing or two from you.

 

[Kates David]

The biggest problem arrives in the wake of love, because this is when all the psychopaths jump in for a ride. Nice may be considered weak, but it is beyond any doubt divorced from being sub-human, and most certainly superior.

 

[Kates David]

There's a big difference between being "nice" and being a doormat. I see a lot of people who think they are one in the same.
I think I'm generally a nice person, but I refuse to be a doormat.

Also, you might think "mean girls" are getting ahead, but their behavior usually comes back to bite them.



Great post. You certainly seem to have your head on straight, and I know some girls who could learn a thing or two from you.

But, one cannot be "nice" without exposing oneself to being used/one may be being used from that very moment of being nice. To be certain of never being used one requires not strength, but one requires to be prepared to be nasty. In this regard nobody born has ever been capable of dependable reading of minds. Therefore, to be nice is on occasion to take a chance. As to whether one has been nice, or nasty, this is not a matter for their perception. Those of us that are not nice/are strong/are nasty, are at the same time not wholly loving. To love is strength, and to hate is only ever weakness.