Dear Employees...

SWEARING AT WORK

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some
individuals throughout the company have been using foul language
during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
offended, this type of language will be no longer been
tolerated.
We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to
accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so
that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an
effective manner.

1)TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2)TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting *sweary word*.

3)TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4)TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.

5)TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh*tting me!

6)TRY SAYING:
Perhaps! you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh*t.

7)TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.

8)TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9)TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh * t won't work.

10)TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

11)TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12)TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh * t and die.

13)TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14)TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

15)TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.
> >
16)TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job s*cks

17)TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?

18)TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr*ck.


Thank You,
Human Resources

 

thats very very funny stuff right there!
good one Snowy

 

LOL I wasn't sure about posting it, it's a bit graphic, but not in a malicious manner, so that's ok!




Also our bad word filter has changed some of it to *sweary word*