Are all men players at heart?

[MiszMariee]

In the world we live in today, playing people, messing with someone's feelings because you are unsure of your own is something almost everyone does. It's practically common. The other day I was at the mall, in the store Victoria Secret to be exact. And this guy with one of his good girl friends walked in. He continued with his conversation and this is what I overheard.

Him: "So this one girlfriend I had, I was with her for about 6 months.
She lost her virginity to me and the next day I broke up with her, hahahaha!"

After hearing such a thing, I couldn't help but turn around and retaliate by saying "How dare you think you have the right to take something so precious from a girl and then just throw her away? Do you know how much it takes for a girl to have sex for the first time? Do you know that they get SICK to their STOMACH worrying if the guy still cares? Worrying if the guy even feels the same about her? Girls AREN'T a bag of meat, you can't just EAT them up and THROW them out. It's people like you that make girls all over the world feel like CRAP. Like they're not GOOD ENOUGH, like they have to wear POUNDS OF MAKE UP and NOT EAT FOR MONTHS to even feel nearly good enough for you FOOLS. It's guys like you that have girls SCARED TO DEATH to fall in love. She's not JUST VAGINA, she has a brain and a heart and a personality. And you, you are clearly just a FOOL and for your sake I really hope there isn't a hell because if so, you will be the first thing rotting in it."

I probably went overboard but at the time I was extremely disgusted to hear such a thing, to know that guys walk around and brag about taking girls virginity's and then throwing us away like we're disposable. I just want to know how, why people have the mind to do such harm to someone without even a care in the world?

 

[Doll Leviste]

Wow I would have done the same thing MiszMariee, its disappointing thatguys like him who don't have any respects for girls are growing in numbers. It is really disturbing that more and more guys are seeing girls as sex items and treating women with disrespect. >.< Other guys would leave their girlfriends if the girl doesn't succumb to the guy's pressuring for premarital sex. Thats probably one reason why my ex bf got tired of our relationship. At least, I may have a broken heart but not broken me.

 

[zararina]

It is a sad truth that there are a lot of such disgusting guys out there that only want pleasure and will take advantage of women. Funny how can they treat a woman such as a garbage wherein he was created inside the womb of a woman. Well, i still do believe there are still gentlemen but they are very out numbered by fools.

 

[Lugia]

God... that post just made me SO MAD.... Not at you, but at that guy... I mean, it's one thing to do something like that but then he goes and waves it around LIKE A FLAG?! Holy.... that is one of the many factors that makes me begin to lose faith in humanity.

But still, I hold on to the hope and belief that even though a lot of them are horrible like this, that there is still a good person deep inside...

 

[francrislee25]

Not all men are players, but MOST of them are. It's very rare nowadays to find a guy that's very understanding and very caring not just to himself but also to the girl they really love. I had been with a guy who only cares on how much and what I can give to him, we lasted for 4 years thinking that he's the only man in my life now and forever" but time came when I reached the point of being hopeless and taken for granted, so I broke up with him.

Finally I met a man who's very opposite of the first guy I had, he may not be very perfect but I know he understands me very well and he's the man whom I know will take care of my heart carefully.

 

[MiszMariee]

I really feel it's all about how you were raised and your surroundings because those that grew up in a more respectable home, are the ones who are more respectful of women and vice verse. I just wish society today portrayed more respect versus vulgar behavior.

 

[apple]

This is disgusting! And why would he even brag to a girl about it?! I hope karma will get him good someday. Kudos to you for speaking out against him.
To answer your question, guys are instinctively players due to the tendencies humans evolved to have in order to enhance the fitness (survival and reproduction) of our species. Guys have unlimited reproductive potential and invest very little biologically into the creation of children. Therefore, they are inclined to have as many sexual encounters as possible with unique healthy, fertile women. Healthy and fertile being judged on the basis on physical beauty and facial symmetry. On the other hand, women have limited reproductive potential since they must invest a lot biologically into the creation of their offspring during the gestation period and childhood. Women are then more selective about their mates and choose them on the basis of wealth, status, and loyalty. Men are then, in turn, a bit more selective about who to choose as their legitimate mate because their material resources are limited. Preferences lean towards virgins because they don't want to be raising some other guy's kid if they are paying for it and birth control didn't exist back then.

Unfortunately, we modernized much faster than we could evolve. These instincts are no longer that useful but we are still largely a patriarchal society in which this kind of double standard is still deeply rooted despite being contradictory. Most men want to sleep with as many hot girls as possible but they want the one they marry to be a virgin. The media doesn't help either. Most guys grow up being exposed to pimps and players as the cool role models. Girls are conditioned to value their looks above all else to hope for a glamorous job in showbiz or modelling. Parents can only do so much to keep their kids bounded since the cost of living today is through the roof. Both parents need to work long hours to support the family, leaving little time to counteract the pressures the media places on their kids.

 

[Renee]

All men aren't like that, but most of them are. I think that is just so disrepectful. I would have got mad too if I heard somebody say that too. Men these days are such dogs. That is why you have to be careful who you give your heart and virginity to.

 

[Lugia]

Finding a man with love instead of lust in his heart is a difficult quest but worth it in the end...

But that's not to say that women can't be just as bad... *sigh*

I do believe there is good deep inside every person but it just doesn't show...

 

[chocobun]

Can you tell us what his reaction was? If he said that, I doubt he was a very sweet and attentive boyfriend. He could have been cheating on her, or generally ignoring her to have such a lack of remorse for doing such a thing to her. However, nothing justifies his actions. I think it's somewhat easy to tell whether or not a guy is a player, and wants to be with you purely for sex. Obviously, someone who is thoughtful and intelligent most likely won't take your virginity and dump you right after. There's no real way to tell, that's why I have a hard time trusting men.

 

[TheSkeptic]

That's appalling! Respect is a concept that is so lacking these days in so many people. It's like an epidemic. For the record, I do believe that most guys aren't like that. Although you can usually tell what a guy is all about, some of them are actually smart about hiding what they really want. So to be on the safe side I've found that if you listen closely and observe him long enough he'll reveal who he actually is. Since I'm a bit of a healing type I don't like to walk away from relationships once they've started *ahem* I try to watch people more in the beginning before I start loosening up. Men and women can both be ruthless so you really have to watch yourself. I wish more young people would practice that extra bit of caution in relationships because it could've saved that poor girl in the OP some heartbreak.

That is SO SO SO sad.