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14 things a man can do at Asda....


Active Member
Sep 10, 2004
14 things a man can do at Asda while his wife is taking her time:

01.. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys
when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies

04. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone: 'Code
3 in Housewares... and see what happens.

05. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on credit.

06. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

07. Set-up a tent in the Camping Department? and tell other shoppers
you are sleeping over and invite them in if they bring pillows from the Bedding

08. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: "Why
can't you people just leave me alone?"

09. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose.

10. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are located.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

12. Hide in a clothing rack .. . . and when people browse through, say:

13. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and
assume the fetal position and scream "NO!...It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here!"