Travel Agent Translation Table

Travel Agent Term .................. TRANSLATION.

Old world charm .................... Room and a path.
Tropical ........................... Rainy.
Majestic setting ................... A long way from town, at end of dirt road.
Options galore ..................... Nothing is included in the itinerary.
Secluded hideaway .................. Directions to locate unclear.
Some budget rooms .................. Sorry, already occupied.
Explore on your own ................ At your own expense.
Knowledgeable trip hosts ........... They've flown in an airplane before.
No extra fees ...................... No extras.
Nominal fee ........................ Outrageous charge.
Standard ........................... Sub-standard.
Deluxe ............................. Barely Standard.
Superior accommodations............. One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.
All the amenities .................. Two chocolates, two shower caps.
Plush .............................. Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.
Gentle breezes ..................... In hurricane alley.
Light and airy ..................... No air conditioning.
Picturesque ........................ Theme park nearby.
24-hour bar ........................ Ice cubes at additional cost (when available).