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Stupid instructions!!!

Discussion in 'Fun Time' started by Snowbaby, Nov 12, 2004.

  1. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    :D In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed
    through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
    consumer products:
    1. On a blanket from Taiwan -
    NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
    2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
    REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
    3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -
    USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
    4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink -
    AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
    5. On a New Zealand insect spray -
    THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
    6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
    TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO
    ROOM TEMPERATURE
    BEFORE OPENING.
    (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
    7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -
    LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED
    PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR
    APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
    8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
    OPEN OTHER END.
    9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -
    WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
    10. On a Sears hairdryer -
    DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
    11. On a bag of Fritos -
    YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
    (The shoplifter special!)
    12. On a bar of Dial soap -
    DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
    (And that would be how?)
    13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
    DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
    (Too late! You lose!)
    14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
    PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
    (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
    15. On a Korean kitchen knife -
    WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
    (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
    16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
    FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
    (As opposed to use in outer space?)
    17. On a Japanese food processor -
    NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
    (Now I'm curious.)
    18. On Sainsbury's peanuts -
    WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
    (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
    19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts
    INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
    (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
    20. On a Swedish chainsaw -
    DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
    (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
     
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