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Snowy's something

Discussion in 'Fun Time' started by Snowbaby, Nov 15, 2004.

  1. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    Ever Wonder Why?.................
    • Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    • Why you don't ever see the headline:
      "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
    • Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
    • Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
    • Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
    • Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
      liquid is made with real lemons?
    • Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
    • Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
    • Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
    • Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
    • Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    • Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
      indestructible black box?
    • Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
    • Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
    • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    • Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
    AND...
    • In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
      stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
    • On a Myer hairdryer:
      "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
    • On a bag of Chips:
    • You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
    • On a bar of Palmolive soap:
      "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)
    • On some frozen dinners:
      "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
    • On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
      "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
    • On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
      "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????...)
    • On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
      "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
    • On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
      "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
      could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
    • On Nytol Sleep Aid:
      "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???)
    • On most brands of Christmas lights:
      "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?)
    • On a Japanese food processor:
      "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
    • On Nobby's peanuts:
      "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
    • On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
      "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
    • I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
      On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
    • On a Swedish chainsaw:
      "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
     
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