Snowy's something

Ever Wonder Why?.................

• Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
• Why you don't ever see the headline:
  "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
• Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
• Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?
• Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
• Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing
  liquid is made with real lemons?
• Why the man who invests all your money is called a "Broker"?
• Why there isn't mouse flavoured cat food?
• Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
• Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
• Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the
  indestructible black box?
• Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
• Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
• If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
• Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

AND...

• In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of
  stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
• On a Myer hairdryer:
  "Do not use while sleeping". (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
• On a bag of Chips:
• You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
• On a bar of Palmolive soap:
  "Directions: Use like regular soap". (And that would be how???)
• On some frozen dinners:
  "Serving suggestion: Defrost". (But, it's just a suggestion).
• On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
  "Do not turn upside down". (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
• On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
  "Product will be hot after heating". (And you thought????...)
• On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
  "Do not iron clothes on body". (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
• On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
  could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
• On Nytol Sleep Aid:
  "Warning: May cause drowsiness". (And...I'm taking this because???)
• On most brands of Christmas lights:
  "For indoor or outdoor use only". (As opposed to...what?)
• On a Japanese food processor:
  "Not to be used for the other use". (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
• On Nobby's peanuts:
  "Warning: contains nuts". (Talk about a news flash!)
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
  "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
• I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
  On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
• On a Swedish chainsaw:
  "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals". (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)