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Should I Even Stay In This Relationship?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by GoSenseless, Feb 1, 2015.

  1. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    We have so different opinions -- if we ever come to talk about society issues, politics, anything of actuality or importance, we disagree. His opinions are always so freaking one-sided and generalized ("The Ukrainian conflict is just shown as propaganda the Ukraine is just a nazi force and the Russians are just protecting their people!") and I always mention how dumb I think this is and that he obviously only ignores one type of propaganda to listen to another part of propaganda. It gets heated up pretty quick and I hate him, absolutely hate and don't respect him when I'm pissed at him.

    So many times this happened and I broke up, but he never let go and every time, we talk and fight for hours and he asks me to just keep my head cool. As it is, the day after, I love him again. It's ridiculous. I'm not sure if there is something wrong with me because when I love him, I really love him so much. But when I hate him, I really just want to leave him and never see him again.

    I'm twenty three and been with him two and a half years. It's actually my first serious relationship. And right now after we fought I think it sucks.
     
  2. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    Maybe you need a proper break from each other? I always say to my friends,"Can you see yourself with him in 10 years time?" and if you can't say 'yes' within seconds and have to think about it, you have your answer.

    It takes more than love to make a relationship work, respect and mutual understanding, so if you have doubts then you need time away to see what you want from a relationship, rather than what you are compromising with. Ask yourself, do you want children with him and would he be there for you if you were ill?
     
  3. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    Well, you probably wouldn't like it if he just agreed with you all the time either. Stimulating conversation is good, if you can debate properly without getting angry with each other. You both have to realize that you aren't going to change the other person's mind when it comes to strong opinions. You can however examine his reasons for why he feels the way he does to understand him better. In your situation though, it sounds like both of you just get too frustrated, so it might not be worth it.

    Good advice from Gabriellea.
     
  4. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    Jesus Christ I had to jump on him when he decided to look up this forum because I don't actually want that he reads what I write here. He's so nosy. SO NOSY.

    And it looks like I cannot delete this or edit it or hide it or whatever. Urgh.
     
  5. hkg44

    hkg44 New Member

    I can definitely relate to your situation right now. I'm currently in a relationship with a Nepalese and I'm a Filipino. We have different culture, religion and language so we have many conflicting ideas about our beliefs and perceptions in life. Arguing is not new to us, but we make sure that everything is settled before we go to sleep. A little fight really spices up a relationship and I also think it's normal for people to argue especially when you are comfortable with a person you're arguing. Just make sure that you both know how to compromise with each other although it may not be as easy at it sounds.
     
    GoSenseless likes this.
  6. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    Wow, he seriously checks up on you to see what you write in forums? I'd have to draw the line there, especially when it comes to an all girls forum. You are entitled to some privacy. No offense, but the guy sounds a bit immature and insecure to me. Good luck.
     
  7. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    He usually doesn't check up on what I do. He's just... I think he has a bad sense of boundaries. Or a different one than I do. For him, it's like, "Why would you share stuff with strangers on a public forum but dislike it if I read it? Anyone with the internet can read it!"

    I do however fully agree with you (and with myself!) that he has no business trying to find out what I write about if I don't want him to, even (and especially) if it's about him and thus "concerns him". Back then, I actually was clear enough (and annoyed enough!) that he backed off and never really tried to be nosy again (at least on this part; though I think in a lot of other domains, too).
     
    Zynni likes this.
  8. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    Well, I get that he'd be curious. That's pretty normal. I'd still take issue with him trying to read everything I write. I wouldn't try to read my husband's discussions, especially if he were on an all guys forum. I'd figure he needed to blow off some steam and probably wouldn't want me to read it. I guess it is about boundaries. Some people have none. ;)
     
  9. LaurenTaylor

    LaurenTaylor New Member

    Your the woman here suprise him, agree with him even though you don't guys are arrogant just stick to your guns go girl;)
     
  10. Kates David

    Kates David New Member

    Yes, conventional romantic love is the nearest thing to hate, and is part way psychopathic because whilst being "in heightened emotion" one also takes with this one`s ego. If there is not the constant mutual struggle for perfect empathy the love cannot be truly genuine, not on either side. Should he only retaliate at being confronted with its end there lies the proof, and ditto should circumstances be reversed. I believe that you are deeply in love the emotion, a dangerous and frantic place, but that you are not actually in love/genuine love. If there were genuine love his political opinions would amount to nothing in the face of it, for at the essence of one`s being there exists no politics, and this is where having everything in common would count. celebritydiscodave (google)
     
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