Love triangle that's unknown to the third party... what to advise?

[Mommyjoyce]

Hmmm.... this involves my son aged 25 and presently working as CSR. He has this ex girlfriend who stayed over in his pad for a year. Finding no commitment from my son (because they had no formal agreement, they started as friends with benefits, actually) she moved out, went back to her parent's home. After a month, she posted having a new bf on facebook and filled her pages with satisfaction and date fotos. Fine...happy for her.

After seven months, there she goes again, visiting my son on days per week (sleeping over) while still having a relationship with her present bf. My son is too kind and shared with me that she is begging to be loved by him; that the present bf was just a cover-up. Duh!

It's dangerous game she is playing. Her bf seems to have no idea of what she's been doing or where she's going! Told my son to be frank with her as we don't want him involved in her drama.

 

[Quirky Jessi]

So why is he continuing to be involved with her? Is he hoping that she wants more from him and will end up being only with him? Does he just like the attention? Or is this really bothering him, too?

 

[plumpkin]

I can see myself in that situation, actually. As the girl, I mean. Its to tough when you give so much of yourself and so much of your time to someone, and they don't want the same thing as you. Obviously this is your sons life, and he shouldn't be involved with her at all. However, they were friends for a decent amount of time so its going to be hard for him, as well. But you're right - He needs to tell her that he doesn't, and will not, love her. Especially seeing as she's a total Jezebel. I'm sure he'll figure it out. Just be supportive, yet firm - In the fact that he needs to say goodbye to this girl.

 

[ssamcd]

It sounds from your post that you son is not leading her on, and I think she knows were she stands with your son. Maybe she is trying to make your son jealous? Do you think? If he has no romantic interest in this girl he should tell her. Also I find it funny that her boyfriend has not idea about your son. Sometimes things like this could even turn tragic, I would not want my son involved in something like this. My son is also your sons age. All you can do is give me your advice and your concern. Best of luck!

 

[Chavaun Jones]

At the end of the day, it's your son's life, and for whatever reason, he seems to want some level of involvement with her or else he would have never accepted her back into his life. Apparently they have some kind of attraction to each other because she left, according to you, primarily because he was unwilling to commit. So the fact that she's back in the picture says to me that it's something they both want. I would encourage him to encourage her to make a decision; either she wants the boyfriend or she wants your son. I would also encourage him to figure out what he wants. As a woman, I know that majority of us bond a lot faster with someone when a physical relationship is introduced. Men on the other hand seem to be able to sleep with various women with no strings attached. I would make sure that he understands this. Make it clear to him that while it may just be sex for him, it may be more for her, and to continue to have any relationship with her could be destructive and harmful to them both, specially if he's still unwilling or unable to commit. He needs to tread carefully though.

 

[chelly]

It is a dangerous game that involves vunerable people that she s playing with and stringing along. Men and women who okay these manipulative games are Jezebels. You have done what you can, and now the decision is left up to your son. I he doesnt let go, then he will have to learn the hard way. Hopefully, he will come to his senses and get out while he can. He doesn't know what her bf is capable of if he found out. Women are more emotional beings, but men can be too sometimes, and if there wasn't an attachment, then he would have easily got outta there a long time ago. She's going to have to decide as far as her own relationship is concerned, but in his case, he has to decide even if she doesn't.