1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Come and join our girl community by registering for free and start discussing about girl topics, fashion, relationships...

Just Generally Whazzed Off!

Discussion in 'Come in and have a moan!' started by merlin1974, May 13, 2005.

  1. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    Just wanted to let off some steam after getting some unexpected news today!

    I split up with my daughters father when i was pregnant then got back together when she was born and split again when she was 4months for the final time.

    It was a very bitter break up as i'd found out that the whole 8yrs we were together was a complete sham and that he'd lied about his family and everything.

    This was made harder when i found on my first visit to his family that until the christening they hadn't known that either myself or my daugther existed and that he'd told his sister that i was an office fling that resulted in Tasha!!!!!!

    Anyway i've made it a point that she gets to know his side of the family even though he has had no contact since she was 4 months as i believe she should know her background and form her own opinions etc...

    Recently i decided i could cope and asked his sister to make the offer of contact with Tasha if he wished it when she visits them - i found out today that he's discussed this with his sister before and is adamant he wants nothing to do with his daughter and he is now married with 2 further children and has drawn a line under his past (rather swept it under the carpet) and wants no reminders!!!!!

    I am now back to where i was when we originally split up! Furious, bitter and whazzed off!

    This is a man who at 36 was never getting married and didn't want children so now my brain is thinking that he's got married and has 2 children (which are not his from memory) and this may sound caluculating (but i know him) but i think it's been done purely for financial reasons as his original CSA claim was £450 a month but as soon as he married and took on children he now only has to pay £180 a month (although he has only ever paid £100 a month since she was 12 months old and owes several thousand in back pay).

    This is a man who married his first wife (i didn't know when we were together he was still married) because he said it as a joke and didn't feel he could get out of it. Spent 8 yrs with me adamanat that he was not into marriage and now after knowing someone just over a year is married with her kids?

    How do i tell tasha who is now asking questions about why daddy doesn't love her and when will he be coming to see her - that he father doesn't want her at all????

    Am gutted and in alot of ways heartbroken that he's decided to hide her existance in the same way he hid mine!
     
  2. fastchaz36

    fastchaz36 New Member

    Some men are such bum holes [​IMG]

    Chloe's and Kyle's biological dad turns up when he feels like it. Which is not often but too often for my liking [​IMG]

    We have been split for 2 years in october, The only time he shows up are birthdays and christmas and this time on Kyle's birthday he couldn't even be bothered and sent his new girlfriend to bring present. Didn't even ring [​IMG]

    She knew how he was with my two and she went and had a baby with him, silly woman

    His new years resolution was to take them every friday and bring them back saturday and to have them one night a week for tea. He managed one friday never turned up again [​IMG]

    He does not pay csa each time they catch up with him he quits his job, and he told his mum that he as paid me £100 a week since we split up ... I wish. I soon put her straight [​IMG]

    I do the same with them I take them to see his dad and new wife and his mum and boyfriend I'm not going to spite them just because he can't be bothered to see them or take them himself.

    My advice to you is to always be there for her try not to bad mouth him although you want to. Which I do most of the time when the kids are out of the room [​IMG]
    Even though she as not known her dad the only things she will know is what you tell her.
    If he ever turns up let him see her, then if he doesn't turn up after she as always got you.

    If he says he is coming to pick her up make sure she is dressed and ready to go out but don't say where she is going otherwise she may get her hopes up for no reason and it won't be his fault, she will blame you, as my two always fall out with me if he don't turn up. Charming [​IMG]

    If you ever need to talk pm me [​IMG]

    Good luck and hope everything turns out for the best [​IMG]
     
  3. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    yeah but that's just it - i've never bad mouthed him because i don't see the point - i mean he can explain to her when she's 18 why he didn't want her and because i've been so open with his family he can't blame it on me.

    And he'll never come to pick her up as he's decided that she never existed - i wouldn't be half surprised if his wife doesn't even know about her!
     
  4. thistle

    thistle New Member

    OMGFG !!!!

    He got married ?????? I've said it to you before .....Tasha is far better off without a dad like that. Let's face it, we always had far more fun when he got out the way lol.

    Shame he can't face up to his responsibility's but he always was a spineless twerp, it's HIS loss, one day he will wake up and realise that he has missed his daughter growing up............and I really hope it hurts him.

    YOU have nothing to hide, you've given his family every opportunity to see her and she will thank for that when she's older.

    Now.........get out there and find her a daddy that will treat my wee Yorkshire pudding the way she deserves to be.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. fastchaz36

    fastchaz36 New Member

    [​IMG] Your doing all you can, you can't force him

    Just enjoy your life with your daughter and what he is missing out on [​IMG]
     
  6. merlin1974

    merlin1974 New Member

    Ta Louby that's just what i needed a good kick up the backside! Me thinks i'll leave the daddy hunting til i start Uni - might be some nice Doctors out there lol!

    When can i come n see you - yer yorkie pud is missin ya!
     
  7. thistle

    thistle New Member

    hehe always here to give you a kick [​IMG]

    Got the weekend off in 2 weeks if you fancy coming up [​IMG]
     
  8. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    Don't you just love our wee thistle?? [​IMG] [​IMG]
     

Share This Page