Important

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post but i need some help with a touchy subject. This girl i know who had her baby shortly after me about 4 weeks after seems like she is having alot of trouble coping with her baby. I live in a block of 40 units and a few of us are really good mates and we have all noticed that this girl has been acting rather strange since she has her baby( she lives here to). To put a long story short she is showing alot of signs of post natal depression.(or partum as its called in america) Now we arent really sure what to do to help this girl but she really needs it.

Not only this but her baby seems to be having a real hard time and she wants ask anyone for help this baby is nearly 6 weeks old and it doesnt look like it has grown since the day it was born. A close friend of mine and I both think that she is not feeding her baby enough because is constantly screams like its hungry.

What should we do? Do you think we should try and help or stay out of it? I am just asking because we are really concerned about this girl but mostly we are concerned about the baby. Please help

 

Ring Tresillian, there's a free call number or contact your local community health.

I've had PND so know what a nightmare it is.

Either one of those should be able to help you. Do you know if a community nurse followed up with home visits to your friend?

I've been to tresillian 3 times with my youngest. There's counsellors there to help with the PND and the nursing staff to sort out any feeding/ reflux/ health or settling problems the baby may have.

The only thing though is getting your friend to aknowledge there's a problem. Try contacting the people I've listed as a starting point.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

 

I know it's easier said than done, but if you can try to persuade her.... if she is worried about the baby's growth, to see her health visitor (community nurse?). If the baby is checked over, she might feel strong enough to ask questions and get some extra support.

As Tia says, the difficult part is realising and admitting you need help. At least she has you guys who have noticed she needs some extra support. She is lucky to have you around her.

As Tia says, the best advice would be to call a helpline and ask for advice, these people are trained in this situations and will be able to offer best help to you.

 

Thanks guys i think i may have to call someone to ask because she is so touchy with subjects about her and the baby if anyone said that maybe she should see a health nurse she would bite their head off. she hasnt even noticed her baby isnt growing that much she think everything is fine but we all know it isnt.

Thanks for your help guys your a great help

 

You're very welcome, make sure you let us know how you get on. We're here if you need more help, if we can help.... we will

 

I think you should try to be there for her, show her that you are wiling to help.

She might just need more sleep, I know how hard it is to sleep at first, its nice if someone can offer to watch baby a little while why you get your head down

Don't make out that you are going around just to stick ur nose in even tho u are not it will feel like that if she is down in the dumps , keep droppin little hints that u are there for her she may eventually ask you

 

In theroy fastchaz36 thats a great idea BUT she wont let anyone near her baby. No one is allowed to hold it or anything. we have all offered our help but she wont let any of us touch the baby let alone look after her. I hate things like this its so hard to know what to do

 

Aww Homestar I think it's a good idea to get in touch with an expert and get professional advice. It's all very weel for us to sit and type, but in order for her to get good help, I think you need advice from a Health Visitor who is used to dealing with these types of situations.

You're doing a great job being there for her, even though you may feel helpless - for her to have such caring friends will mean the world to her in time. You'll see

 

thanks Snowy im doing my best

 

You're doing fantastic

 

If you're all in the same block do you all take your babies to "Baby Clinic" and have regular visits by the Health Visitor.

Tis just if there is a baby clinic being run by the local gp surgery (like where i live) it's a chance for mothers to go in weekly right up until baby is 2yrs and have them weighed etc.. and discuss issues that may be concerning them.

If you do have one, you could suggest going together and then perhaps have a word with the Health Visitor on your own whilst there asking her not to make it obvious to your friend, but could she just make sure that your friend is ok and that she is getting all the support from her Health Visitor as possible.

Just a suggestion that may be of use.

Hope all is ok at moment!

Cara
(soon to be student midwife, Sept 2005)