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I lent him money

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Ayane, Nov 19, 2015.

  1. Ayane

    Ayane Member

    So I lent my boyfriend money - $600.00 ~ since he was struggling after a client backed out of a transition/ thus not being able to afford upcoming rent.

    I know this is a generally bad thing to do and its eating me up inside because that was something I had to reach into my savings to cover.

    Now I found out that his friends and him plan on going on a cross-country trip and I feel frustrated. He invited me which I promptly reminded him that he/ I can't afford it and he still owes me money. I don't make a lot myself, and only had the money from inheritance.

    He insists he'll pay me back but this is something they planned months in advance. I don't want to look like a jerk in front of his friends so I don't want to stop him from doing his big vacation.

    I'm actually a bit worried he might leave before paying upcoming rent again and leave me to dip into my savings funds which are already hurting. I don't want to keep asking for money. But I don't want to pay more than what I agreed to and I don't want it to become a thing.

    Money has never been an issue in our relationship. We've been living together for 3 years now with no issues. Should I let this go? Or should I pursue it?

    I'm not sure how to approach this... Any advice?
  2. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    The best thing to do is to get him to pay it back weekly, say $200 a week so it seems less. You do need to set boundaries, or you can ask him to pay the rent in full for the next couple of months instead.

    Don't put it off, because it needs to be addressed, and if it means cutting back on things he will have to. I got annoyed at my brother who hadn't paid our mortgage and then put a Rolex on his credit card. I made him pay the mortgage in full the next couple of months.
    Maria Elizabeth likes this.
  3. Maria Elizabeth

    Maria Elizabeth New Member


    I'm in a serious relationship and one of the things my bf and I established from the beginning was not to lend each other money unless it was totally needed. Money can strain your relationship. Honestly if you need the money tell him, but tell him why. He's your boyfriend he should be understanding. If he can't afford to go on the trip tough luck, that's life. I think he should prioritize and do what's important first. Firstly he should pay you back, then when he can afford to by his own means he should go on the trip. You shouldn't feel guilty. You loaned him the money when he needed it- but it was just that, a loan. He should pay you back. If you need it, don't feel guilty about it girl.


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