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Help! Losing that loving feeling

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by jonnylons, Nov 4, 2004.

  1. jonnylons

    jonnylons New Member

    Ok, I know I am a guy and I probably shouldnt be here, but I figured who would know better than you ladies about my problem!

    Basically, I have been in a long distance relationship with a woman that I love very much. But it has been hard to be apart - but we made it through a year of it. We did visit each other about once a month and we would talk about every night for several hours.

    But things changed. This summer, she decided to go to Europe to study archaeology - something I wanted her to do and something I helped her achieve (I got her the opportunities to go). I thought she wasnt being fair as she wanted to do archaeology and didnt want to make any time for us to be together this summer. Initially, I was supposed to go with her, but I couldnt swing it financially.

    So she went and we would talk over the phone every 5 days or so. It was tough.

    To make things worse, I decided to move up to where she lives in order for us to be together - and this is something that she wanted too. But that move put a strain on us as I had to get everything in line - a job, a place to live, etc. I did it all just to be with her and she was not able to move.

    But we would argue over the phone - she didnt want to call as much because I made her miserable every time we talked. And I was miserable because i had to do it all myself and she wouldnt make time for me to talk. It became cyclical.

    So now, I have left Chicago - I was lonely and couldnt make it happen anymore. I was sad and trying to keep our relationship together just was not working. When I told her I decided to move back to FL, she got very sad and came over to my place. We spent the night together.

    We agreed not to end our relationship, but to go forward with our lives and keep our relationship alive - much like we did when we were in a long distance relationship. But I havent heard from her in about 2 weeks.

    I know I should just go forward with my life, and our relationship is wonderful when things are going well. But I love her and I dont want to move on and just leave her - she is someone very special to me. I dont know what to do. I cant call her - I have already left a message and I am trying to give her her space.

    Can you ladies help me?
     
  2. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    well, what a toughie, but I have one question for you.... what do you truly want, and what do you truly think this girl wants?

    Have a think about that. This might sound bad and I apologise....If either of the two of you want to have some space, the other one can't force the situation. Give it time. As the saying goes...

    What is meant for you, will not pass you by.
     
  3. jonnylons

    jonnylons New Member

    Well, I still havent heard from her. I dont know - a mutual friend (who also hasnt heard from her) says to just give her space and reassures me that she does love me and does care about me.

    But I dont understand why the silent treatment. She tells me she loves me, last we spoke, and she put a lot of effort into our relationship, too. I feel the reason why it hasnt worked was because she was not ready for a relationship in a lot of ways, but that doesnt mean that she doesnt love me.

    And she is not the kind of girl to go out and casually date - she puts a lot of thought and effort into things. And she does seem to be immensely loyal. I just wonder though if her guy friend, that she seems to be in denial about, is becoming more than just a friend or not. I guess I cant worry about it anyway - since I havent heard from her in 3 weeks now.
     
  4. anjelgirl

    anjelgirl New Member

    :blush:

    I know its an old wise tale but I belive in it, so here I go


    "If you love something let it go, if its ment to be it will return"

    I put all my faith in this saying and it has helped me alot!

    By the way what part of Florida did you move to? Im from there but in England now!!! :console:
     
  5. Snowbaby

    Snowbaby Active Member

    I absolutely agree. I'm a great believer in fate. If it's meant to be, it will be! :D
     
  6. Sezza

    Sezza New Member

    yes i agree with snowbaby and anjelgirl if you are meant to be things will work out.
     
  7. fastchaz36

    fastchaz36 New Member

    I agree too

    I have never had a long distance relationship but imagine it to be very hard [​IMG]

    Its hard enuff work tryng to keep a normal relationship alive never mind one so far apart

    Leave her alone for a while and hope for the best

    Dont get yourself down about it and try to live your life the best that you can

    Chalotte [​IMG]
     
  8. TxBoundAngel

    TxBoundAngel New Member

    I have been in long distance relationships and i have to say they have more stress then any other kind of relationship. Now if she has not called u in 3 weeks she is moving on and this is goin to be hard for you cause you have put so much time and effort into this relationship but you have to do the same. it is an old wise tale to let it go and if it comes back it was meant to be however... you have to make yourself happy but not by making others miserable.
     
  9. Lostchild1962

    Lostchild1962 New Member

    I beleive the same if its meant to be it will..best of luck to you.. :flower4u:
     
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