1. Your manager calls you into the office on a Friday.
2. Every job lead at Lockheed leads to people who are always at offsite/getting the business/CI/etc meetings
3. Every person you ask for job leads says;"I wish *I* had some job leads"
4. People you talk to outside of Lockheed say,"You could try company ABC. Oh, but they laid off 25% of their people 3 months ago."
5. Fellow co-workers on AFR talk *seriously* about jobs at K-Mart.
6. People in your department greet each other with "How's the job search?" instead of "How's it going?"
7. There is a 60 minutes crew at your office door.
8. (Applies mostly to women) You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better.
9. Your ex's lawyer calls.
10. You wake up face-down on the sidewalk
11. You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold
12. You see the "That's Life" team waiting for you in your office
13. Your twin brother forgets your birthday
14. You go to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any
15. You turn on the news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city
16. Your dog actually *does* eat your homework
17. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
18. You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke; then you remember that you don't have a waterbed
19. Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
20. The hail coming down punches a hole in your umbrella
21. Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat
22. The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard
23. You wake up and your braces are locked together
24. You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your panty hose
25. You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
26. Your blind date turns out to be your ex
27. Your income tax check bounces
28. You put both contact lenses in the same eye
29. Your pet rock snaps at you
