You are right, I know getting it out and writing it helps a lot more than just keeping it in my head, it helps you to realize things that you may not have realized before.
I never intended to have children either, but apparently me and my husband are immune to birth control because I've had two. I can't say I regret it though, of course, they're my world.
I can't say exactly when I started to feel unsure about myself, but I do know that it's irrational. I know my husband sees no flaws in me and for lack of better words, basically lives for me, but I do believe it's my physical changes that keeps me away. I'm not very big, around 135 lbs and most of it is my legs which, mu husband is in to so it's not really bad, the extra skin though, is a pain. I know I have a lot of people interested in me as well, but I just can't seem to like myself and see myself as they do. My husband even noted that I suck in my stomach the moment he touches it, I don't think I've ever noticed me doing it before.
I have to agree that sex is very psychological and I think that's my main problem. If I'm trying to do the turning on for him, I can't get into it because I'm too worried and tense. In the heat of the moment I'm good and I can get into it because i'm already there and not thinking about it, but if I'm not fully there and I know he's trying to urge me to do something, like for instance, um.. haha, what's too much to say here? I'm not sure I can come up with an example without it being too naughty.
A less descriptive example than my first thought, Well let's just say, he scoots up and I know he's wanting me to do something in particular, of course I try and do it, but it's a little less enjoyable for me because I tense up and it causes some of my turn on to go away. I suck at this talk! Haha, I think we're crazy off-topic now.
