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I understand.  Sometimes, there are no words to heal that pain, no hugs that can make the pain more tolerable.  My heart goes out to you. 

About a month and a half before my daughter was conceived, I started bleeding and it didn't stop for 14 days.  About seven days in, I realized it wasn't a normal menstrual cycle but I had miscarried a VERY early pregnancy, one that I didn't even know about before the bleeding started.   And, it makes sense cause around Christmas day (about a month before), I had felt very nauseated by the smell of spicy Italian tomatoes and thought it was just a fluke.  I would have just gotten pregnant around that time.  Don't know how I missed the early signs but it was only a month in, so nothing more than slight queasiness and after ten years of infertility, it's not like that would have meant anything.

I didn't have time to grieve the baby though, cause my daughter was conceived less than two months later.  I don't know the exact date.

But, the very next time I missed my time of the month, I knew THEN that i was pregnant, even before taking two pregnancy tests.