So afraid to get hurt again

[Trellum]

I just came back from a trip with my boyfriend, but instead of feeling very happy and secure I feel a bit afraid to get hurt again. I don't know what to do about this, me and my boyfriend have to be away from each other for now, because we want to settle in his home country and he needs to do a lot paper work (I also need to learn the language and get a job).

I'm so stressed out right now because I'm dealing with hormonal issues that turn me into an emotional wreck sometimes, specially before my period! So I'm dealing with so many things right now, now the added stress of being away from him. Don't get me wrong, I love him very much and I trust him, but I really don't trust the women there! Just before my trip a woman tried to get a date with him!

I was really hurt by someone in the past in a very similar situation. I waited for that person almost 5 years, he told me he'd marry me, but instead he just dumped me. He had been cheating on me with another woman without me knowing it... for 2 years! I could never find proof of it when we were together, but my heart often told me something was so wrong. It indeed was, he humiliated me so badly, because he said we'd get married soon, so I told a lot people I knew.

So yeah, I had a hard time trusting people after that, I wish things were different, but I just can't help it sometimes.

I am pretty sure the guy I am with is a really good one, so I really don't understand why I feel this way. What can I do to stop feeling this way? I know he loves me a lot and I truly trust him, but feeling the way I do lately makes me feel guilty. What can I do? Should I tell him?

 

[kiwigirl]

As nice as your current guy sounds, it's still understandable that you're feeling the way you do. The best thing you can do is to tell your guy how you're feeling as well as why you feel a little insecure at the moment. If he loves you he'll understand and will prove to you that he wants to be with you in the long term. Don't give up on love!

 

[Trellum]

Thanks a lot for taking the time to reply I talked with him yesterday, I told him I feel so vulnerable since I came back (mostly because this distance doesn't make me feel very comfortable - I truly miss him!). Being on a LDR is so difficult! We both hate waiting and being away from each other is so difficult. I keep telling myself the wait is worth it, because after one year we will probably get together for good, but when you are in love with someone a situation like this is so difficult.

I truly need to relax and stop paying so much attention to the things he says and how he says them. I wasn't like this before and I am praying I don't feel this way for too long! Not fair for me or him.

Thanks a lot for the advice!