Chapter 5
[[warning: vague references to alcohol]]
As the sun rose above the horizon, Rob slowly woke up from a long, restless night sleep. His back was aching from the awkward sleeping position he'd had to be in all night. He stretched a little to try to crack his back before he stepped out of his car and into the cool morning air. At first he was worried that he was the only one who was awake, but when he looked into the window of the Challenger in front of him, he saw Richard stirring a little. Feeling a bit more comfortable, he opened the door of his Datsun again and sat down on the seat with his feet hanging out of the door.
After a few more minutes, Richard woke up all the way and climbed into the front seat of his car. He opened the door and climbed out. He wiped some of the moisture off of the side of his car and leaned against it. Richard yawned and stretched out a bit before crossing his arms and staring blankly into the distance, silently watching the tips of the dew-covered blades of grass as they swayed in the gentle breeze. Richard finally noticed Rob from the corner of his eye and nodded. "Morning, Rob..." Richard ran a hand through his now messy hair, flattening it slightly. He took out a pair of sunglasses from a case and put them on top of his head.
"Morning, Richard." Rob, on the other hand, stared off into the woods, watching the shadows of dawn slowly fade away. He began to feel less intimidated now that it was lighter out, but even during the day, there was still something about this place that really unnerved him. Not wanting to think about scary things anymore, he stared up into the clear, blue sky. The weather was fairly warm; much nicer than it had been the previous day. At least they had that going for them.
James and Jeremy woke up a few minutes later. James casually stepped out of his Thunderbird, watching the oafish Jeremy fall onto his back as he carelessly slid out of the driver's seat of his ugly Mercedes. The hell? Rob sighed as he watched Jeremy slowly get up. Jeremy must have brought a few beverages along with him.
Rob followed the other three presenters as they lazily made their way back to the small pit where the fire had once been. They all sat down on a long log that had been laid down for them and nervously awaited the news on breakfast - after all, everyone knew that a hungry, crabby Jeremy would be bad news for all of them.
After just a couple of minutes, though, the camera crew gathered around with all of their equipment and got ready to start the filming for the day. Jeremy gave a thumbs up, and the cameras began rolling once again. Another one of the 'lab coat guys' walked up to Jeremy, handing him yet another golden envelope. Jeremy quickly opened it, and began reading the challenge card.
"'This is the one and only time that you will be provided food,'" Jeremy sighed, "from now on, you must find food on your own. If you didn't bring your own food, then you are an idiot. We wish you the best of luck.' Alright, anybody bring any extra food?" Jeremy looked around at the others. There was a long, awkward pause as everyone just looked at each other. "I take that as a 'no'. Well, perfect. Good going, guys."
"We'll just eat roadkill, then," Richard grumbled, "Jeremy, go find a cow or something... that will last us a week, right?"
"Alright then, Richard," Jeremy turned to Richard, "tell me, exactly how many cows do you see in forests?"
"Um... not... too many..."
"Exactly. So, here's the plan. We'll all plant a garden," Jeremy's eyes lit up, "and then we'll grow our own meat!"
There was another pause as Richard covered his face with his hands. "You don't grow meat in a garden, you idiot!"
"Plants... meat, same thing," Jeremy rolled his eyes before grumbling under his breath, "nerd..."
"Will you please quit arguing and actually think of a way to eat?" James crossed his arms, "because, frankly, I'd rather not starve just because my colleagues can't figure out the difference between plants and animals."
Thankfully, though, the one and only thing that could stop an argument on TopGear finally arrived - food. It wasn't exactly a feast, just some trail mix and energy drinks, but it'd give them a nice boost before they faced the challenge for the day. Jeremy pretty much inhaled the trail mix and then swallowed half of the red energy drink in one big gulp. James, as expected, was taking his good old time, and Richard was dropping raisins into Jeremy's drink while he wasn't looking.
As soon as the four hungry presenters finished eating, the official challenge card finally arrived. Jeremy opened the envelope and revealed their challenge. "There is a large, rocky hill off in the distance to the east with a large, warehouse on top. It is locked. You will not be able to drive through the forest to get to it. Go find the hill and climb it.' Um, which way is east?"
"Jeremy, there's a compass and map on your leg, you idiot, they fell out of the envelope." James picked up the compass, but Jeremy snatched it from him.
"Now, why exactly are the producers making us do this, anyway? It's got nothing to do with driving," Jeremy, as usual, was frustrated and annoyed by the challenge that the producers had given them, "wait, wait, there's more... 'We will provide you with tent materials, but without instructions. You must figure out how to set them up on your own. There is only one tent, so please try to keep it in one piece, boys. You will also be provided with four backpacks with important things in them.'"
"Jeremy sleeps outside," Richard moved as far from Jeremy as possible. "James, you too."
"Awkward..." Rob teased, elbowing Richard.
"Oh, shut up," Richard glared at Rob and then rolled his eyes.
"Fine then, I have an ingenious plan," Jeremy stood up, "how about we just set up the tent so we can pass the challenge, and then we all sleep outside?"
"Sounds good to me," James stood up as well, "we should get started. Knowing the producers, they probably picked the furthest location they could manage."
"Of course it is, James, you think they'd give us an easy task? We can't even drive there." Richard said as he and Rob stood up.
Four more 'lab coat guys' delivered their supplies, including the four backpacks and the tent. Jeremy actually made himself useful by offering to carry the large tent, and then he slung his pack over his shoulder and lead the presenters into the shadowy, mysterious woods.
Little did they know, however, that this would be a much longer trip than expected, as Jeremy had remembered to bring his ego but had completely forgotten the map.
