Lily
New Member
Hi, girls
I don't like the term body dysmorphia because it implies that your feelings of ugliness are untrue, but it seems very similar to what I go through.
I am in my young twenties, but I have obsessive worries about my appearance. I do not make a substantial living ( less than $30,000 a year), but I am obsessed with purchasing beauty products and anti-aging products. Though others tell me my concerns are crazy (not that they would be honest if they weren't) I constantly feel as though the skin on my face is sagging off. I can feel it sagging at my cheeks, around the jawline, chin area, and eyebrows. It feels like it is melting off and everyone is staring at me. I will buy products as high-end as $250 an ounce, I do see some improvements with these, but not fully what I'm looking for.
My eyes I also have big issues with the dark hollows beneath them. Eye creams are another thing I spend big on and they have shown no signs of improvement. Makeup helps a bit, but never enough. It's not just the skin and under eyes, I also hate my jawline, my teeth, my lips, my nose, the shape of my eyes, the shape of my eyebrows, the way my hairline falls on my face, etc.
I dream about one day being able to afford all the cosmetic surgery I want (though, I need to stipulate, I am not after that "porn star" look, I want to look "naturally" beautiful). This drives my boyfriend crazy because he does not see the flaws. I cannot see anything but them.
Even when I am alone I am constantly running to the mirror to stare at it and dream about all the things I could change that would finally make me feel beautiful. At work, I should be getting things done, but I'm looking up reviews for surgeries or high end creams.
I'm partly afraid to get help because I feel that if I stop caring about it, the things will never improve and my looks will deteriorate, but it is getting rather costly and debilitating.
For anyone who answers, thank you so much.