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After our daughter was born, my husband and I had issues like this, and we approached it very practically - we bought a calendar, and we marked dates on it that we would have sex or go out or both.  We also committed to taking steps on those days to firmly adhere to those dates - that meant no working late, no medication that might inhibit performance, no spicy or heavy foods at dinner, etc.

 

That first month, I'll admit, one or both of us was sometimes just going through the motions - but the fact that we were both actively doing something that demonstrated our commitment to the relationship made us both feel amorous towards one another, and after a while I would get very excited throughout the day when I knew it was  a sex night - I think he was the same way.  It took about a month, but after that we didn't need the calendar anymore.

 

I don't know a lot about relationships, but I do know if you wait for feelings to motivate action, you'll be waiting a long time - you have to take action!!!


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