Hey, girl
I know just how you feel because I feel the same way. I don't mean to take your problems and turn them into mine, but I do want you to know that you aren't alone.
In middle school and high school I remember being afraid to do anything because it would make me stand out in a bad way. If the people I wanted approval from liked a certain thing or type of music, I was so afraid not to like it. I was so afraid to have my own things. I feel the same way about constantly imagining that you are annoying the people around you by whatever you are doing, listening to music, chewing too loudly, just being a presence in general. I had acquaintances at school, but I never felt that I was wanted around or that anyone was really my friend. At jobs, I feel like no one likes me, in stores I feel like everyone around me thinks I'm a weirdo just by the things I say and the way I walk.
For me, my hobbies are things that no one has to see me do- writing, drawing, crafting, but I don't do hobbies that will put me in the public eye (running, dancing, etc).
Don't let go of who you are though. If you try your best to just be yourself (this sounds cliche, but I mean it) Skateboard and run whenever you feel like it, eventually you will find someone or some people who loves this about you. It's easier said than done though when you feel like no one is on your side. Feel free to PM me whenever you need.
