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There's an old saying, 'You always know when your lover takes another.'  But, I'm always hearing stories of women saying, "I thought we were so happy.  He was cheating behind my back for years."  I think women sometimes choose to look the other way cause it's less painful than facing the truth, more convenient than ripping up the family unit, dragging everyone through court and condemning oneself to single parent status.  There are many reasons a woman would not know.  None of those reasons are good or smart but maybe self delusion is just part of the game we play in the game of love.