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How to Make New Friends When You're Shy?

Parker

Parker

Member
Joined
Feb 26, 2012
Messages
297
I need some advice. I have recently moved to a new city. Actually, I've returned to the city where I grew up, but I've been gone for more than 20 years. I am having a hard time meeting new people even though I live in a big city. I am also on the shy side. I'm not as shy as I used to be though. I looking to meet other women/girls. I'll worry about getting a boyfriend later. LOL! One problem at a time.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.
 
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Well what do you like doing? Try signing up for some clubs or weekly get-togethers of some sort. Even if it's just doing a yoga or cycling class at the gym will get you out there a bit so you can start talking to people. How about a book club? Or take a cooking class? Anything that puts you in a group where there might be others like you.
 
I would suggest joining a club or going out to the park with the kids (if you have any). This is a great way to meet other people who will share your interests as well. Even walks around your city is beneficial as you never know who you may run into. Any time out of your home gives you the opportunity to meet your future best friend, or maybe even a boyfriend. I hope you are able to meet and make new friends quickly. :)
 
There are lots of ways! Like everyone suggest, you can join a club or something. If you have a specific cause that you're into, volunteer work is great. I volunteered at my local animal shelter last year and made so many friends through that. If you like to exercise, join a gym or take a class. You can also go the online route and use Twitter or a forum that is specialized in your city to meet people in your area or get some ideas about what people in your city like to do.
 
I can relate. I used to be painfully shy and I had a horrible time making friends (I'm mostly better now though). I personally think it can be harder to make friends in big cities than it is in small cities. There are more people, sure, but everybody seems to be busy doing his or her own thing and hanging out with friends s/he already has.

I agree with the others that joining clubs, taking classes, and volunteering are great ways to meet new people. I know the shyness can make it tough to take the next step and actually talk to the people you meet - I've been there! I've had luck striking up conversations by asking questions or offering help. If it was a class, I'd ask a classmate something about the material (even if I already knew the answer). When volunteering, I'll offer to help a fellow volunteer with whatever she's working on. Sometimes it doesn't lead anywhere, but sometimes it does!
 
There are so many places where you can meet people. Firstly, if you're working, there are people at your workplace that can introduce you to the hangouts in the city and if you're still in school, people at school can suggest ways for you to meet other people. Do what you like to do and don't be pressured into doing activities that you're not familiar with or you don't like to do.
 
I fully agree with everyone here. Just 'get out there'...and the rest will take care of itself. Just always enjoy yourself (or try to, or fake it til you make it) and people will naturally gravitate towards you. Just be you.

Joining volunteer programs, hobbies, sports programs are all really helpful in meeting people (as the others on the thread already pointed out). Just continue to push your comfort zones....and Life will do the rest.
 
Yes, joining some clubs or associations/organizations may help you reach out more people there. Maybe try to find some old good friends in the neighborhood. ;)
 
Good luck!
 
You can start joining book clubs if you're into reading. Or perhaps join a group of avid park goers if you have a dog or love outdoor exercises. There are lots of ways to meet people as long as you remember one thing, pick an activity that you love or are interested in (that way the people you meet are those you could relate with and have a common niche to talk about). Oh right, you can also start by doing volunteer work.

I hope you the best. There's also bars and cafes but that's like looking for someone to date so start with morning activities.:D
 
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Wow, thanks so much for all the great replies.

I attended church services regularly, but have been unable to connect with people. I hadn't thought about volunteering. I have volunteered in the past and I loved it. I have also discovered meetup.com which has groups based on an area of interest.

I just really need to step out of my comfort zone. I don't like the status of my social life, but I think I got used to it being like this.

Thanks again for all the great ideas and support.
 
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