Hi Girls (and guys), I'm just coming out of my first bad break up and Im not sure how to deal with it. I was with my now ex for a year. At first it was long distance for 10 months, then we went to Japan together, then I moved cities to be with him. I lived with him for two months and he left me. I'll give you a brief overview.
I first met him when I was 15 and he was 19. We were just friends. We lost contact and he found me on FB again 4 years later. He explained to me that he just ended his relationship with his ex before me of 3.5 years. I felt really bad for him so I caught a 3 hour train to see him. I never even thought about getting together with him. The more we hung out the more he started to like me. He told me he wanted to be with me, then he didnt, then he did, then he didnt etc. until I had enough. I told him Im not a yo-yo and he has to make up his mind. So a month later he decided he wanted to be with me. I told him that I wanted him to be 100% sure about this and that Im not just the next girl who came along or the "re-bound girl" He assured me I wasnt. So I decided to trial it and I thought it was going great so we then turned it into a real relationship (he knew I was a virgin but on the night we got together we went to a friends house party and the next morning I woke up to find my clothes off...I guessed what happened and felt he stole something from me. I spose I should of left him after the first day). Unfortunately he lived 3 hours away from me at the time and we were long distance for 10 months but we made it work despite my doubts but he kept convincing me that we can make it work and I believed him. This went on for months and months. My family hated him because the few times they met him they said how arrogant and egotistical he was and how he was using me but I just didnt see it
He didn't do anything for me for Valentines Day, never took me out on dates, never did anything special for me, never suprised me at all (spose they are all warning signs?). I was always the one who brought the romance into it by organising dates and things to do. I even took him to Japan with me. We had many little arguments but all of them were settled. Even though there were times where I just couldnt do it anymore but he convinced me not to leave him. He told me I was his soulmate, the love of his life, the woman he wants to have kids with and that he was looking at engagment rings. And I believed him...So all this went on, we left for Japan for a month and got back in April. When we came back we were the happiest we'd ever been. Until he told me he wanted to get back in contact with his ex before me because she owed him $5000. I thought that was the only reason but I was wrong... I started to get suspicious and when I confronted him about it he said I had nothing to worry about and that he would never go back to her. I wanted to believe him but I just couldnt but I was so in love with him and believed him when he told me I was his soulmate so I overlooked it, just remembering the amazing time we just spent together in another country. Our one year anniversay rolled around in June and it was my sister's wedding on the same day. We were both there but he never once told me I looked beautiful or happy anniversary, no flowers or anything
So I suggested the following week we celebrate our anniversary when it's just the two of us and he agreed. I already had his present planned and recieved to give to him but I got nothing. So the weekend rolled around and it was Friday night. He went out for drinks with mates and told me he'd be home by 9:30pm. I had dinner made, cleaned the house and made everything really special for him. 9:45 came around, nothing. 10:30, nothing. 11:30 and I decide to ring him. He tells me he is still out with his mates and that I shouldnt expect him home anytime soon. I was a bit upset but I knew he was just drunk. He came home at 1am and asks if Im mad. Of course I was! I didnt yell at him though, I just asked for a bit more respect and he went off his face! I was telling me I didnt care about him and how I've never cared about him. I was so unbelievebly hurt!! He slept on the couch that night. The next day I asked him if he remembered what he said to me and he said no but he could tell it was bad. I know he remembered, he was just too embarassed to admit it. I had it, I packed my bags and told him that I was done. He begged me not to leave him, telling me I was his soulmate and he'd be lost without me etc. I went for a long walk and thought things through. I decided to stay with him... The following weeks were full of arguments, mostly about his ex being back in his life when she was such a bad person (and I knew this because all his friends told me, even he told me). 4 weeks later he tells me he wants to break up with me and it was my turn to beg him not to do this but he did. It was so easy for him. I found out that he was already seeing a girl from his work who was already engaged and he was also sleeping with his ex again.
I just feel so stupid
He begged me so many times not to leave him because I was his "soulmate" but it was so easy for him to leave me and not even look back. Not a tear in his eye or any compassion. That was it. The next day he was getting it on with the girl from his work who is already engaged and at the same time of playing her he was going at it with his ex too. I just feel like another girl on his long list of girls he's slept with.Im sorry this is so long and I really appreciate it if you got this far. Any help getting over him or any advice would be fantastic as Im really at a loss
xx
