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But, one cannot be "nice" without exposing oneself to being used/one may be being used from that very moment of being nice.  To be certain of never being used one requires not strength, but one requires to be prepared to be nasty.  In this regard nobody born has ever been capable of dependable reading of minds.  Therefore, to be nice is on occasion to take a chance.  As to whether one has been nice, or nasty, this is not a matter for their perception.  Those of us that are not nice/are strong/are nasty, are at the same time not wholly loving. To love is strength, and to hate is only ever weakness.