What Do You Think Constitutes As...

[Snowbaby]

....cheating?

Personal opinions only, please no arguing :blush:

But what do you personally feel is regarded as cheating on your other half? Would it have to be a full blown affair (physically)? A kiss?

How do you feel about if your significant other (SO) was to be flirting with someone else? Would it bother you? If so, how much? Do you trust your SO 100% when he/she goes on a night out with friends (without you)? Do you wonder what they might be "getting up to"? Do you text or phone them to check on them? These are presumptuous questions or things you should be doing... just wondering what everyone thinks as I saw a discussion like this on another board, I found it very interesting to read each person's viewtake on the subject.

What about when it comes to online? I met hubby online and when we first got together, I was scared he might meet someone else online :blush: Does your SO chat with members of the opposite sex online? How does it make you feel? Do you get jealous if your SO spends a lot of time online? Does your SO flirt with others online? Do you flirt online? Does your SO get annoyed if you spend too much time at the pc?

 

[sara]

I feel anything that you would not do in front of your SO is cheating. Like if you would not hug another man in front of your SO then if you did it with out him around, it is cheating!

 

[Snowbaby]

I trust my hubby 1000000%, but if he was to flirt with someone in a pub or over chat or IM, I'd be really hurt. If either of us go on a night out without the other, we don't really bug each other except to ensure we're ok, safe and having a good time.

Personally, I think flirting is going too far, but I wouldn't class it as "cheating" as such... unless it became persistent behaviour, then something would have to be said and it'd have to stop. Anything from a kiss upwards is deffo cheating!

 

[laurammorgan]

i trust my boyfriend 1000%, i have to, considering we have a long distance relationship, he's in bristol uni, and im a good 2 hours away at the end of wales. i know some poeple only count affairs or sleeping with someone else as cheating, but i disagree, i only kiss someone if i mean it and believe all kisses are special, so if he was to kiss someone else id say hed cheated on me.

 

[merisplit]

This is really a good question..but what's more important is, I think, what type of cheating would bother you? 'Cause, I don't think that I could say for every situation that it is cheating, even if he decided to sleep with someone else..What I'm trying to say is..how much could I forgive or what would really hurt me?

To be honest, everything would, if I saw it. Flirting with someone else, a kiss, and the sex, of course...being online a lot with the opposite sex, yes, definitely...people can connect that way a lot! Flirting on it's own is nothing bad and I'd allow it, even a kiss may mean nothing..sex can be something purely physical, or a reaction of rage (if we had a fight or something), but honestly, this would seriously hurt me, 'cause I would feel like I don't mean enough to him. Actually, everything depends on our relationship at the time, so I can't give you a direct response.

But talking to someone online or constant serious flirting with the same person would hurt me the most - it means that he's either bored with me, or found something, felt something beautiful with someone else that he can't find with me

 

[thistle]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Snowbaby @ Aug 30 2008, 09:05 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

But what do you personally feel is regarded as cheating on your other half? Would it have to be a full blown affair (physically)? A kiss?[/b]

Personally I think of cheating as any form of sexual behaviour with another person who is not your partner and which does not have their full knowledge and support (if people are happy having open relationships then that's their business lol) and that will depend on where everyone places their own boundaries so for some it may be a kiss and for other's it may be full sex. For me personally, anything over and above harmless flirting is cheating and over my boundary line

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>

How do you feel about if your significant other (SO) was to be flirting with someone else? Would it bother you? If so, how much?[/b]

You've met subby right? lol .......... flirting doesn't bother me in the slightest and I personally think it can be quite funny

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>

Do you trust your SO 100% when he/she goes on a night out with friends (without you)? Do you wonder what they might be "getting up to"? Do you text or phone them to check on them?[/b]

Doesn't happen often but yes I trust him 100% and I never even think twice about what he is "up to" and I certainly wouldn't phone him to check up lol

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>

What about when it comes to online?[/b]

Same rules apply to online or real life.......... no difference in my opinion

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>

Does your SO chat with members of the opposite sex online? How does it make you feel? Do you get jealous if your SO spends a lot of time online? Does your SO flirt with others online? Do you flirt online? Does your SO get annoyed if you spend too much time at the pc?[/b][/b]

lol yes, all the time and I'm fine with it, I'd be annoyed if he tried to stop me talking to a man online so I wouldn't ask him to stop talking to other women. And yes he flirts with them but as long as he doesn't cross the line then I'm fine with that too. I used to flirt a lot on msn too but I tend not to since we got together out of respect for him (and no that doesn't mean I find it disrespecful if he does it )

We probably annoy each other by spending so much time on the comp but if it ever caused real problems then I would probably suggest at least one internet free day a week (it'd be hard tho lol)

 

[Subby]

If my partner even knows what a male is, I break her legs......



or on a serious note, I second thistles post word for word... excpet I wouldn't use me as an example damnit!

 

[thistle]

Why's that?

 

[merisplit]

I second Thistle too...particularly this part : "For me personally, anything over and above harmless flirting is cheating and over my boundary line" and "(if people are happy having open relationships then that's their business lol)"

 

[bluestar]

Anything that would make the SO uncomfortable I think would constitute as cheating. Could be a kiss, could be a *censored*. I don't think everyone constitutes the same things as cheating (ie my ex - there is a reason he is ex)

 

[kittylove]

I'd be really hurt if boyfriend flirts with another girl, anything else and I'd be a wreck. I trust him completely, though. Last month he posted an ad on craigslist because he wanted to make some friends for us. It just bothered me that his ad said "m4f", that he was specfically looking for a female friend. Plus he didn't mention me until a girl emailed him. So I was mad at him for that and we fought over it for weeks. He wanted me to talk to the girl, too. So I did. She's pretty cool. So one day we met her and her boyfriend at a bar for an hour. It wasn't bad. My boyfriend talks to the girl mostly though, he doesn't have the guy's online information. As long as he doesn't talk to her more than twice a week, it's okay by me. And he's just trying to get us some friends. I live with him but I work evenings and he works days. Hopefully that can change because I'd more time with him. But overall, we don't hide anything from each other and trust is great.

 

[Chantilly]

Anything physical is obviously cheating to me, but the flirting can be kind of a gray area... sometimes it's just fun to be a bit flirtatious and I can understand that, but if you're doing it to try and get something then it's a different story.

It depends on trust. My last boyfriend flirted with pretty much everyone, and if it bothered me at anytime he would tell me I was being ridiculous and that it was only jokes. This did not make me feel any better.

 

[amoredolcex0]

I feel anything that you would not do in front of your SO is cheating. Like if you would not hug another man in front of your SO then if you did it with out him around, it is cheating!

i totally agree with this... whatever you wouldn't do in front of your SO means that you feel it's inappropriate and therefore most likely is, and would not be something you would want done to you.