Struggling to cope with pregnancy loss

Nearly one-third of all conceptions in the United States end in some type of natural pregnancy loss, with almost 80 percent occurring in the first three months of pregnancy, about 14 percent in the second trimester, and approximately 6 percent in the third, according to the authors of "A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family," a 299-page soft-cover book by Perry-Lynn Moffitt, Ingrid Kohn, an obstetrical social worker in California and Isabelle Wilkins, a medical doctor.

Published by Routledge in 2000, the book gives practical advice, comfort and hope to grieving parents and suggests how family, friends and medical institutions can help them rebuild their lives. It deals with the grief of pregnancy loss; how mothers and fathers experience loss individually and together; returning to work after pregnancy loss; telling family members and friends; how pregnancy can change relationships; handling thoughtless remarks; rituals for pregnancy loss, and becoming pregnant again.

The Sweats, who struggled through their grief, know the importance of support.

Gina said she "read every book I could find on pregnancy loss." Their Lamaze instructor arranged for the couple to join a support group.

"It was what we needed at the time," she said. "I needed to know I was not the only one who desired to have a child and didn't have one."

In the mid-1990s, the couple became volunteers at the Pregnancy Loss Support Program, launched by the National Council of Jewish Women in 1982. The program, which offers telephone counseling, support groups and a physician referral service, has helped more than 2,000 individuals cope with the trauma of miscarriage or having a stillborn. The program is open to the public, free of charge and nonsectarian.

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