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Should arranged marriages be illegal?

Discussion in 'Burning Issues' started by Gabriellea, Jul 20, 2015.

  1. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    Even in our modern era, arranged marriages are still happening and sometimes it works, others make the best of it and others end in misery, abuse and even death. Shouldn't it be illegal?

    I know these days it is under the guise of an introduction, but sometimes money is involved or the marriage is to tighten family bonds. My parents had an arranged marriage and as a child from that, I was always blamed for ruining my mother's life.
     
  2. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    Well.

    I think forced marriages should be illegal. Obviously because of the issue of non-consent.

    I don't see why anyone would ban arranged marriages at large, though. My grandparents got to know each other with the premise of arranged marriage and they were good partners throughout their life. I think it'd be ridiculous to ban a way of meeting other people under the pretext that for some people, it turns out bad. Tons of marriages, arranged or not, turn out bad. Some people think they marry out of love while their partners marry for financial security or any other reason. To get an arranged marriage is going out of trend, but since nobody's hand is actually forced, I see no reason for it to be criminalized.
     
  3. midorisour

    midorisour New Member

    I believe it should be up to the people involved. I mean if they are okay with it, then its fine but if its forced it isn't okay. People should always have a choice.

    I'm sure there are people out there so sad about not finding love that being in an arranged marriage would be okay for them because they are ready to have kids and start that chapter of their life.
     
  4. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    For some people there is parental pressure, so isn't that forcing them? If your family says we will kick you out and disown you if you don't, isn't that blackmailing them?

    I doubt many people these days are 'okay' with it, but do it because the family may disinherit them or leave them homeless. Is that a reason to get married? It shouldn't be these days.
     
  5. midorisour

    midorisour New Member

    So not to turn this into a heated debate or anything, it seems like this is a topic you are passionate about. There are a couple of friends I know who say they would be happy being set-up. They have tried dating, signed up for dating websites, etc. and nothing works. They are tired of it. They say they would be happy to be in an arranged marriage.

    Let me give you the experience I am going off of. My best friend's family was like you are too old to be single so we are going to set you up with an arranged marriage. He has been feeling like he is never going to find love. He's been in many relationships but they don't seem to stick. He decided why not, maybe he and the girl will hit it off. So he went to the meeting with his family and the girl and her family. He and the girl decided to try it out. Get to know each other and if they end up finding things in common and stuff they would get married.. They told their families, that they would get engaged but would only get married if they were both comfortable with each other. In the end, he broke off the engagement and that was the end of that. No disownment or whatever. His family is probably different from other families less strict and more lenient but yeah. This is my experience.

    Now the other situation I heard about was from my best friend and one of the reasons he decided to let his family set him up. My best friend's friend's family set him up with an arranged marriage. That friend of my friend married the girl and so far so good. They are happy. Probably not all situations are happily ever after. This one was.

    YES I know these might be rare situations but these are real situations and not made up. Granted I would rather marry for love then be set-up with someone I barely know or who I am not attracted to. Maybe other's out there would not feel the same and would be happy with it.
     
  6. lynnh

    lynnh New Member

    I have seen it work for a lot of people who have gotten into arranged marriage as a result of their culture and I used to also believe it is bad it is wrong but after talking to some people who understand and appreciate the culture I have changed my views firstly these arranged marriages are done after enough research about the personalities of both parties involved and they meet and its their decision to go ahead or not , marriage is tough mostly because people get into it without fully knowing each other as people tend to be different when they are dating therefore chances of success are higher for arranged marriages since thorough research is done with regards to the compatibility of the parties involved .
     
  7. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    What a shame. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

    I guess it really depends. It's still accepted in some cultures, and we really don't have much say about what happens in other places. As for "free" countries, yes, I think it should be illegal. It can be practically a form of slavery in some cases, in my opinion.
     
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