Long Distance

[feminista]

Hey Guys,

I'm trying a long distance relationship. What are some tips to keep the flame going?

We talk almost every day, but I'm worried about the fizzle dying...

 

[Quirky Jessi]

Well what are you currently doing to keep the flame going?

Try doing sexy things sometimes. Or instead of falling into a routine.... spice things up. Surprise your partner. Do the unexpected.

 

[Jesserotica]

Well, let me ask you, is this relationship going somewhere? As in, do you have plans to see each other soon or move to live near each other?

Because I don't personally see the point of a long-distance relationship otherwise.

My partner and I began long distance. We were across the country from each other. We began talking online in 2005 but it never really went anywhere. We would occasionally chat or something in the following years. But then, for whatever reason, in 2009 I started having feelings for him. I'd find myself staring at his Facebook page all day. I just felt this incredible love for him out of nowhere, which was pretty weird. He ended up telling me that he felt the same way and we began talking online for hours a day. Then he called me, and when I heard his voice I knew for sure. There's just something about someone's voice. He sounded so cute, I just had to have him!

The online talking lasted maybe 2 months and then I finally left my life behind, got in my car and drove across America to his house. I was so nervous as I was approaching his street that I almost had to pull over and throw up, lol. I was literally trembling. It's crazy, but I just knew that I was about to meet the person who would change everything.

We've been living together going on 3 years now!

Anyways, the point of my story is that they can indeed work out and the spark can be kept alive, but I think you need to know that it's going somewhere. As far as keeping the fizzle, you have to talk in detail about all of the yummy/sexy things you want to do together. You have to make plans and get excited for them. If there aren't plans to be made, you really should think about what you're doing, and why. Because relationships take a lot of effort as it is, and long-distance makes them even harder.

 

[jenb128]

You don't know if it's going to work out or not unless you try it!

I was in a long distance relationship for over a year. It did die out eventually. On the other hand, I have a friend who was also in a long-distance relationship for about a year, until the guy moved to be with her. They're getting married next year, so yes, it can work!

 

[ssamcd]

Well sooner or later I think you should live in the same area. It cannot be long distance for your whole life, I mean that would not work. So what are your plans with your relationship? Is there any talk of the long distance becoming just living in the same area?

 

[dashboardc33]

Long distance relationships can work if you try hard at it. You can make it work if you both put the effort into it. Since it is a long distance relationship, you will have to take a lot of time to call each other and even Skype. Sometimes it takes more effort in long distance relationships than in relationships where two people live close together.

 

[claudine]

I couldn't be in a long distance relationship, I just need to be hugged and kissed by my boyfriend everyday, otherwise I miss him so much! But this is probably just me being insecure. If you love each other, you'll be fine, don't worry. There will be just more excitement about seeing each other every time. Talk on the phone as often as possible.

 

[Essie]

Long distance relationship? Why not. They have their own positive and negative sides like any other kind of relationship.
I strongly believe in the perspective that goes: it will become what you make it. The flame is always burning in a long distance relationship. Isn't it?
Mine was. Because you get to miss the person and you will always have things to talk about since you don't live 30 minutes away from eachother in the same city.
The sex should be incredible, if you are a girl who is into that - of course. Never taking for granted that all people are crazy about sex. That's uneccessary.

it will become what you make it! but in the end..you have to be a trusting partner to pull off a long distance relationship. Trust is important always in a relationship - but I'm sure you know what I meant!

Best wishes!

 

[sillylucy]

My boyfriend and I would keep it going by sending each other racy pictures and romantic text messages. We also send each other lovey dovey e-mails and some times we would stop talking for a few days so we would miss each other. Skype is always a great thing. Webcamming keeps the flame going!

 

[UmiNoor]

My husband and I were in a long distance relationship before we got married. But in our relationship, we knew in which direction we're heading. We knew that we would end up getting married. We were far away from each other because we come from two different countries and I was still studying then so we had to wait until I finished my studies before getting married. Once we're married, we live together under the same roof.

If you intend to pursue this long distance relationship, you have to be certain that this is the person for you. Otherwise, I don't think that it's worth the heartache and the longing that you will be experiencing while being far away from each other.

 

[Trellum]

Long distance can be tricky. If you are planning to move in close or even get married in the future, then I say it's great! Otherwise I'd say don't bother, there is nothing worse than a perpetual long distance relationship. If you guys do have plans of a life together or at least move in close to each other, then good for you guys!

You don't have to worry about the flame if you guys really love and understand each other. But if you want to keep things interesting, you should try getting sexy If you know what I mean, phone sex is a good choice. Sex is important in a relationship, since you can't have the real thing you can use technology to help you feel closer in that sense.

You can also try some activities, like watching a movie ''together'', just get a good movie, the same one and watch it while you are calling him on Skype, turn on the web cam, so you can still see each other while watching the movie. Send each other things via mail often and so on.

 

[Krystal Marshall]

I was in a long distance relationship for 1 and a half years. I just moved here to where he is back in August of 2014. It is definitely hard to do long-distance and sometimes it is not for everyone. But as long as you guys have trust and see the relationship going somewhere, it could work out. My advice is, always communicate with your partner. I was really bad at communicating and it cause a lot of fights and arguments with my fiance. If you (or anyone else on here) ever needs to talk, I'm here. I may be new and not know anybody on here but I am definitely one of those people you can come talk to anytime. I wish you the best!

To keep the flame going, I did some crazy stuff so depending on your age I'd tell you. Do you guys ever video chat or call each other? If you call each other, you guys can see what movies you have in common and watch one together. That's what I did during my long distance period!

 

[GoSenseless]

I was also in a long distance relation ship for a year and a half or so, by chunks, let's say. I spent a few months without him, then travelled to see him and studied overseas for four months, allowing me to live with him during this time and spend the summer with him. Spent another four months at home, going to see him over Christmas, spending another four or five months apart and me finally going to live with him.

We broke up a lot. I broke up a lot, I mean. Communicating was hard, fights were had without the comfort of then cuddling up together and letting the tensions fade. But in the end, we knew we were still planning to be together and that we would not give up entirely, that even if I broke up sometimes, I would not turn the page without seeing him face to face again. We were long distance, but we were also going the distance, with firm plans and no "we will just have this relationship as long distance for as long as it last", because this makes it last not long. You need to have a finish line. You cannot live you complete relationship long distance, I think.

Trust is essential, and plans are too. Spicing it up -- that just makes it a bit more fun in the meantime!