Is she considered as a true best friend? :/

[JesusMyHeart]

My best friend and I are close to each other in school. She is seriously bipolar I swear. Last week, she was still laughing and joking with each other on the phone. And the next hour after we stopped talking, she said that I did not prioritize her in my life, and had never spared a thought for her. I was really really very hurt, although I didn't make it very obvious. I had always treated her like my little sis, and she says these kind of things to me. She said that I was talking to my friend who was being a bitch to her last year. And she's really unhappy about that. She had a test that day, and she also felt a little sick. I didn't really talk to her cos she was like revising her work. I didn't want to disturb her cos the last time I did that she told me to keep quiet. I just went to the seat behind her and small talked with my friend that she hates. We only talked about music, I still asked her like 3 times if she needs me to test her on any facts, or help her in any way. She declined me offer so I resumed talking with my friend.

On the same day, cos she had a test after sch and ends sch later, I told her that I will go somewhere first. And she agreed. I went out with my bestie last year (she still is my bestie but we're in different classes) for lunch. After her test, my current bestie called me, and joined us. I was supposed to leave earlier cos I have tuition after that. However she came and thus started her lunch late. I waited for her and in the end I was late for tuition. I didn't really show much attention to her as usual, cos I really wanted to have some time to catch up with my old friend.

She claims that she had put me as her first
Priority in her life, while I didn't. When she almost wanted to commit suicide, I even cried profusely and wanted my mum to drive over to her place. When one of her friends betrayed her, I stayed up late till 2am+ just to comfort her, though I was really really exhausted. I had always
Protected her from any criticism.

After all these things I had done for her, and she still accuses me for
Not being there for her, I still apologized to her and I promised I'll do my best to prioritize her in my life more.

However, she did some things in the past which kinda hurt me, but I didn't want to say it. I'm scared
That I'll hurt her feelings :/ When I was have a fever in school due to the lack of
Sleep at night, she just said bye to me briefly and left me going home alone. I was really sick back then and I hoped that somebody was by my side to comfort me, but she left. When I reached home, she apologized for leaving me alone, but I said it was okay as I understand that she has other friends too.

Today, we had extra lessons but hers ended first. We said that we would meet a some place to go home together. However, she came and said that she couldn't wait any longer. I told her to give me 10min and I'll leave. But she said, " Erm, I want to go home with my friends. I'm really sorry." I said that it's fine and
Let her leave. She apologized to me again over the phone and told me that she had to leave first cos her friends were getting annoyed for waiting for so long. I'm a little hurt and angry cos she told me that I should prioritize her, and in the end she herself didn't prioritize me.

I feel that I'm the only one who is trying my very best to strengthen our friendship. Im still hurt by how she accussed me. I had always tried my very best to care for her, but she just says it like I didn't do anything at
All. I don't feel appreciated. I'm hurt. But I have to know that she has her flaws, and I just want to accept her for who she is. But I feel like she's not accepting me for who I am. I feel that I'm the only one trying. It's hard... To keep trying and nobody appreciates your effort, and still stabs you on the back by accusing you. :'(

 

[Evilsprinkles]

Frankly, she sounds pretty toxic to me, and incredibly self centered. Your best friend shouldn't be someone you have to walk on eggshells around, you should be able to tell them anything, confide in them, trust that they have your back, and basically not have to worry about them behaving like a guilt tripping spoiled little brat. I know that probably comes across as a bit harsh, but if she's going to act like a five year old who just had her toys taken away from her, then you should probably find a friend who actually loves you for who you are.

 

[Jesserotica]

This type of person is called an energy vampire. When you need them, it's about them. When they need you, it's about them. When you do something wrong, it's about them. When they do something wrong, it doesn't matter--it's about them. Seeing a pattern here?

I don't really know what to say because I cut people who treat me this way out of my life.

A best friend is not someone who attacks you. They are not someone who attempts to dictate what you do with your time. And yes, emotionally manipulating you by guilting you because you are friends with someone she doesn't like IS an attempt at dictating what you do. You should ditch this person, in my opinion.

 

[JesusMyHeart]

Thank you for all your answers I talked to my another close friend too, and she advises me to draw away from her before anything big happens. Well recently, she's been bothering me again. I'm a really simple girl, which means I don't really care about crushes and who likes me or not. I don't have a boyfriend, nor anyone has confessed to me before. I like my simple life, which is free from all the boys crap. But she is complicated. So observant of the boys to the extent that she overthinks. Everyday she says that she likes guy A, but guy A dosent like her back. Then another day she says guy A likes me, and another day he likes her. She's been telling me that three guys in class like me, and I'm tolerating her crap everyday. It's like her world revolves around guys. Tbh, I'm kinda sick of her babbling about all these boy crap. I feel that she observes and overthinks too much. I don't believe in all her crap saying these guys like me. She thinks I treat it seriously, and one day guess what she said. I told her to stop talkin about all these and I'm sick of it. She apologized for being annoying and said,"No offense, but I think the guys are actually treating you like toys. They are just playing with you." I was pissed off, although I didn't believe in her crap saying those guys like me. I'm pissed off on the fact that she knows that the guys are toying me, but she still teases me on how the guys like me. Do you see it? It's like she's playing with me too.

There are many other things she did to offend me, but I still don't know why am I still being so patient with her. Maybe I'm just numb to all her nonsense right?

 

[Jesserotica]

Well, you sound pretty pissed off. Maybe you could use that anger as fuel to empower yourself to get away from her.

I had to "break up" with a few girlfriends in high school after it became clear that our connection just wasn't the same anymore. It's a very difficult thing to do, especially when you still go to the same school together, unlike the adult world, where you can pretty much cut someone off and choose to never see them again if you want.

One of the girls, I wrote a letter and told her that although I thought she was a nice person, the amount of calling/letters/constantly following me around was just too much and I didn't feel I was capable of providing the type of friendship she needed. She seemed hurt, but said she understood and we never really spoke again.

The second one was one of my best friends throughout all of jr. high and the beginning of high school. I'm not sure what happened, but we just lost our connection. She began really annoying me and I just didn't want to hang out with her anymore, so I started a stupid fight with her over nothing and used it as an excuse to turn against her. To this day I feel bad about how I handled that one, and would probably apologize to that girl if I could. She didn't really do anything wrong, it was really all me. I just wanted to move on to a different crowd and for whatever reason, at the time I felt like she was holding me back from being more popular and it made me resent her.

High school sucks, lol. It's hard, but you'll get through it. If you do break away from her, I recommend doing it gradually as possible so no one has to experience any unnecessary hurt.