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I miss ID'd someone over 30 and their response has made me feel worse about myself.

Discussion in 'Come in and have a moan!!' started by Ayane, Jun 27, 2014.

  1. Ayane

    Ayane Member

    So I work at a new job where I have to ID people who buy beer/alcohol. There was this young woman (or whom looked in her 20s.) and I asked her for her ID standard procedure. Her face twisted, and she looked livid. She looked at me and said, "I didn't know Racism played a part in this store, "Ayane"."

    My brain shutdown immediately, and I was so confused. I asked her,"What?" Then, after I said it, I realized I was white, and she was black.

    Then she said, "Mhm, I can tell." I explained I was only doing my job and I'm sorry she felt that way. She handed me her ID, she was 1981. 32/33.

    I apologized again, but when she left - she called me a Racist Cunt. I haven't been able to handle it since. After that I had a hard time IDing people who were black. I let another couple who was black go by without saying a word and now I can't stop thinking about it. What if those were minors? What if it comes back to haunt me? I'm going to get fired.

    Since then I haven't been able to sleep. I never knew how one thing could make me feel so wrong about myself. I had never played race into anything before, nor do I want to. I just feel like I am a bad person and I don't want to be.
     
  2. Margit

    Margit Administrator Staff Member

    Nice people tend to think too much :D

    As far as I can tell from your story, you had really no intent to heart her, and its a standard procedure at your shop - so what?
    In the future, follow the procedure and expect from time to time people who get angry at you - for any reason you can think of. Its not about you, they just dont like control or they had a bad day or ....
     
  3. Trellum

    Trellum Member

    The only cunt there was her. Some people are so focus in that they think everyone is being a racist. If I were you I'd just let it go, that idiot was just just one of those persons I just mentioned, some people like to see problems everywhere and think everyone is out to hunt them. She was just being and idiot.

    Don't let this small incident affect how you do your job. With this economy you need to think about your job and take care of; do it well. Some people will find wrong in what you do, no matter what! You need to learn to deal with that. Btw, I'm not white but that doesn't mean I always shout ''racist'' whenever someone does something I don't like.
     
  4. foureyes

    foureyes New Member

    I read your post twice Ayane and I can't see why asking her for her card made her think you were racist. Am I missing something here?

    Having said that, I've worked in customer service for a couple of years and know that people can be mean for no reason, that rude customer has probably forgotten this incident and left you questioning your actions.

    If you know you acted appropriately and with no bias, it will do you well to try and forget it, she probably has a chip on her shoulder and was waiting to lash out at someone. I'm sorry it happened to be you.
     
  5. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    Interesting. My Asian friends are pretty used to getting IDed well over when they are thirty, and in a way it is about race because Asian girls look so young!

    But even if her reply was mean and unfair, I guess it could have to do with how used you are to seeing black people and estimating their ages? If that's the case that could be because on TV, they hire actors a bit older than the roles they have to play?

    I dunno but the whole altercation is weird. I really get how you feel though, some stupid things said to me years ago still make me cringe and feel like ohmigod I'm a bad person.
     
  6. Seffiata

    Seffiata Member

    Ayane, the only racist person here is her, why? Because the first thing she obviously saw was your skin color when you asked for her ID. If you had been black odds are she'd not have reacted that way. So you have NO reason to feel bad about it, you need to deal with the fact you will often encounter rude mean people, you just need to learn with that. Don't let it affect you.

    I know is hard, but you really need to do it. Specially in today's world... where everyone keeps yelling ''Racist'', just like the people during the Salem trials keep pointing people and yell ''witch''. Same with the inquisition.

    Also you need to accept there are people out there who think everyone is against them, yes some people do. regardless of their color.

    By the way, this is coming from a person who has been victim of racism and discrimination in the past, and can't help but to feel offended by the behavior of some people who yell ''racism'' any chance they get, even when they're not being discriminated.
     
    Zynni likes this.
  7. acrouch80

    acrouch80 New Member

    I love it when someone asks for my ID! On the occasion that I do get asked to show it (I'm 35), I don't give it a second thought. The person is following protocol and doing what they are supposed to. I honestly don't see how race has anything to do with it. Don't ever feel bad about doing your job. A lot of times it's so hard to guess someone's age. When in doubt, it's always best to ask.
     
  8. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    She should have been flattered that you thought she was younger. She's the c... jerk, not you. Try to understand that the problem is with her and that you didn't do anything wrong.

    Don't risk allowing a minor to buy alcohol. You'll feel a lot worse if something happens to a kid than you will over some jerk calling you ugly names. Don't risk your job either. Jobs aren't easy to come by these days.

    There could also be legal ramifications. None of these are worth the risk to avoid being called names (especially names that don't even apply to you, since you weren't doing what she accused you of doing).

    Try to write it off as some people are jerks. Trust me, you'll run into a lot more of them when you do jobs where you have to serve the public.

    (((hugs)))
     
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