Help, I like him but...

[Thiaa]

Hello girls, I'm Thia!
My bestfriend had a gorgeous boyfriend called Kyle but they broke up like one year ago. However, I think she still likes him.
Lately, I've been hanging out with him and with his friends... He is always worried with me, he's always saying i'm super pretty,and that kinda stuff. Today he gave me a huge hug and a kiss and I'm really into him but... she's my bestfriend and I don't want to hurt her. Althought, I don't know if he wants do date me or if he wants only to hook up with me...
I really can't talk to her about this, so please don't advice me to talk with her!
I need your help, what can I do?

 

[Lucy1982]

I would talk to her if you are good friends. Communication is key if you want to stay friends with her. Chances are if you explain everything she won't care and will want what makes you happy.

 

[M.H.West]

Well, if you can't talk to her, then I say keep your hands off! If you know she still has feeling for him, dating him will cause problems. Never let a man come in between your friends because when the puppy love ends and he's not there anymore, you won't have a friend to go too. If he is that important to you then either you talk to her about it first, or risk losing her as friend.

 

[mommymumbles]

Those are wise words from M.H. West. It is so true that you do not want to let a man come between your friendship. You really should talk with your friend, but if you say you cannot, then I think you already know what her answer would be. Yes, you would probably hurt her and lose her as a friend. Are you prepared for that? Is he really worth hurting your best friend? Reverse the situation and put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel, honestly?

Hope you really think about this long and hard.

 

[aimend13]

I think before you talk to your friend or make any more moves with this guy, you have to have a long and honest look about not only how you feel about him but what his intentions are with you too. Do you really care about him, or do you just enjoy the attention he gives you? Is there a real basis for a relationship there like common interests and respect for one another, or is it just a case of flattery? Also, you say that you don't even know if he wants more then a hook up with you. Is that really worth losing your friend over?

Also, I think once you're honest with yourself and that entails you wanting to pursue something with this guy, you need to talk to your friend about it. She might be hurt, and don't go in expecting her to support your decision. Only you can decide if this guy is worth losing your friend over if that's the case. But if you sneak around behind her back not only will you lose her friendship for sure, but also her respect and most likely the respect of your mutual friends.

Communication and honesty are key.

 

[Judsgirl68]

I definitely wouldn't let a man come between a friend and I. Your friend will always be there for you, providing you don't cross certain boundaries that should be pretty clear to you. Even if you ask her and she says she is "okay with it", she's not. It will be a completely different relationship from then on. Is he really worth it?