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Have you ever felt bad for being a disappointment?

digitalbrew

digitalbrew

Member
Joined
May 15, 2012
Messages
127
There are only a few people who could make me really feel bad for myself when they say they're disappointed in me. One of these is my sister. She's actually awesome and wholesome. She's the type who understands and judges everybody fairly so I value her opinion. Today, she told me she was very disappointed at me because of a major mistake I did (financially speaking).

I promised her that I would make it up to her but then I still feel bad about it... even though she's said, "Sure. Do your best." Am I crazy? Or has everybody else felt this way at one point in their lives?:confused:
 
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Honestly, I have never let anyone make me feel bad just because they feel disappointed in me. I am who I am. If I make mistakes then that is my problem to deal with. If you feel bad then that is your conscience speaking to you from the heart. You can look up to her but don't forget who you are and what you do because she doesn't approve. It's just how things work. I hope that works.
 
I can understand that you feel bad about disappointing your sister. You probably wanted to show her that you're capable of making a financial decision but since that didn't go well, you must feel really awful for disappointing her.

But being your sister, I'm sure she'll understand that people make mistakes and learn from them. And if I were you, I would prove to her that I'm capable and that I won't disappoint her in the future. Don't let this hamper you from doing the best that you can. This will pass and I hope you will succeed in your future endeavors and make you and your sister proud.
 
I completely understand. I am the same way when it comes to my mom and boyfriend. Oddly other emotions they may experience such as saddness or anger do not make me feel nearly as guilty asxwhen I disappoint them.
 
I generally do not care what others think about me because I know that I always do my best. However, it is important to me that my close family approves of my behavior...i will never admit it to them but yeah, if they say or i feel i disappointed them...it used to leave a heavy feeling in my heart which I really did not like.
 
I used to feel mad if I thought my family was disappointed in me. I have outgrown that as I've gotten older. I am mostly disappointed in myself. I am the hardest on myself.
 
I also do not let anyone make me feel bad because of being disappointed on me. Although if ever there will be someone that could make me feel sad, it will be my grandmother since it is sad to disappoint her.
 
I think that can be one of the biggest weakness for most girls, to disappoint their mom or dad. I remember the first time that I could tell I really disappointed my mom. I can't even clearly recall if she said she was disappointed or not, I think she did. It was something about her not getting angry, but just being disappointed. I felt so awful. I cried and cried. She came and asked me what was wrong because I suppose she thought something else was upsetting me or that I had misunderstood her. I felt so bad I couldn't help but say the truth between sobs that I was so sad she said she was disappointed in me. I'm not entirely sure how that ended besides her laughing (maybe she thought it was something more serious, or possibly the relief she knew in that moment she'd never have much of a crazy wild child teen years in me). Either way, it worked out. She told me "it's okay" and she wasn't disappointed in me, but what I had done and that it wouldn't last.

Wao... that was a far more intense story that I realized in a way. I don't think I've ever admitted that "aloud" before. But it means a lot, to respect your parents and want them to be proud of you.
 
Did this financial mistake have anything to do with her? As in, was it her money you made a mistake with? If it was a personal choice on your end, I don't see a reason to "make it up to HER" regardless of if she's disappointed in you.

To answer the question, though, yes, I've disappointed people before and it makes me feel horrible. I just do what I can to carry on and right things where possible.
 
Quirky Jessi said:
Did this financial mistake have anything to do with her? As in, was it her money you made a mistake with? If it was a personal choice on your end, I don't see a reason to "make it up to HER" regardless of if she's disappointed in you.

To answer the question, though, yes, I've disappointed people before and it makes me feel horrible. I just do what I can to carry on and right things where possible.
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Yes, the financial mistake was under her name and I did the mistake because I couldn't manage to pay it on time with the utility bills and such. So I promised to make it up to her. I even told her that I will pay it with interest which I am willing to do because this sister isn't selfish and she's very helpful to all of us that even if I'd give all my stuff to her, I wouldn't feel bad.

She's the only person who made me feel bad for disappointing her, especially since she's a no-nonsense kind of person. The next day, it's as if everything was okay but I know I would have to work twice as hard to get her back that money.
 
i have always been careful not to disappoint my parents since when I was a little girl. I gave them good grades, was a good girl and helped early in home expenses. That made me feel good. But when later in life I ended up with a bad marriage, I really felt so bad, even if they understood my predicament.
 
I have never let anybody's disappointment bother me, but yet I can see with your situation why you feel bad. I am sure she understands and just wants to see you make it right again. Being it was in her name, make sure to take care of it as quickly as possible and I am sure she will be proud of you in the end.
 
digitalbrew said:
The next day, it's as if everything was okay but I know I would have to work twice as hard to get her back that money.
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Hopefully you can thrive on that determination and use it as motivation to work even harder then. You obviously feel bad about it and want to correct your mistake. Don't obsess over the disappointment part and just focus on doing what you need to to make the money.
 
I have been a disappointment for many, many different people. Sometimes these things can be out of your hands and are only said out of spite from the other person dealing from his or her own personal issues. I can't tell you how many times I have gone home, and sat down to think about how I could improve myself only to end up being hurt again and again.
HOWEVER I'm not telling you, to give up or anything, I'm just answering the, 'have you ever felt bad for being a disappointment,' thing. I google so many questions in my life lol. If things are seriously bad blood between you and your sister. IE you feel a unwavering tension in the air you can try your best to prove them wrong. Mistakes happen, and no ones perfect. Also on a side note, if your sister is brushing you off and ignoring you perhaps send her a text message letting out your feelings. Women tend to pay less attention if you say,' because YOU said this I feel...,' so on and so forth. SO if you do decide to talk to your sister, in my opinion i would stick to the, 'I messed up. It's my fault, and I understand the doubt I have placed in you but I will do better." Or something. In times like these they can be the hardest but don't let it get to you because drama will only eat you up if you let it.
 
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Quirky Jessi said:
Hopefully you can thrive on that determination and use it as motivation to work even harder then. You obviously feel bad about it and want to correct your mistake. Don't obsess over the disappointment part and just focus on doing what you need to to make the money.
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I'm no longer feeling bad about it ;). I'm too excited to visit her and help her next week.
Ayane said:
I have been a disappointment for many, many different people. Sometimes these things can be out of your hands and are only said out of spite from the other person dealing from his or her own personal issues. I can't tell you how many times I have gone home, and sat down to think about how I could improve myself only to end up being hurt again and again.
HOWEVER I'm not telling you, to give up or anything, I'm just answering the, 'have you ever felt bad for being a disappointment,' thing. I google so many questions in my life lol. If things are seriously bad blood between you and your sister. IE you feel a unwavering tension in the air you can try your best to prove them wrong. Mistakes happen, and no ones perfect. Also on a side note, if your sister is brushing you off and ignoring you perhaps send her a text message letting out your feelings. Women tend to pay less attention if you say,' because YOU said this I feel...,' so on and so forth. SO if you do decide to talk to your sister, in my opinion i would stick to the, 'I messed up. It's my fault, and I understand the doubt I have placed in you but I will do better." Or something. In times like these they can be the hardest but don't let it get to you because drama will only eat you up if you let it.
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No worries. My sister's the best. She's supported me all the time and I am thankful that she's matured into the person I look up to. We are frank to each other. We can even tell each other if one or the other "sucked" at something and not have hard feelings about it. Compared to all my brother and sisters, she's the one who everybody talks to and asks advice from. Having disappointed her really felt bad for me but she's also the one who taught me to get up and make up for my short comings.
 
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