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Getting your man to listen and understand your needs ?

Discussion in 'Come in and have a moan!!' started by lynnh, Jan 9, 2016.

  1. lynnh

    lynnh New Member

    My man does not get me at all , he doesn't understand my emotional needs every time I try to talk to him about what I need it turns into an argument i am so frustrated he feels i am trying to control him all the time when I voice my concerns . SOS ?
     
  2. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    It sounds like your message is not getting through. There are a couple methods you can try such as the "sandwich technique" and lots of "I messages." The first one involves stating one positive thing --before and after-- one negative thing, thus sandwiching the bad between two good things. The latter is simply changing the way you approach a situation. Instead of saying "You make me feel bad when you _______," try saying, "I feel bad when you __________."
     
  3. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    Men do struggle with emotions, and it does get frustrating. Maybe you need to try to find a way to express yourself without getting too emotional. Getting people to listen is hard enough, and try to do it with no distractions, like phones or television.

    Not everyone can understand others emotional needs, but people can still listen and try to understand. When you do voice your concerns, consider also how it effects him and others and maybe mention that?
     
  4. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    That's true. A lot of guys just shut down when women get too emotional. I don't think they really know how to respond, or how to "fix it."

    Heck, I don't either. I get very uncomfortable when others are overly emotional. I mean, yeah, sometimes the level of emotion is appropriate to the situation. That doesn't bother me, but someone freaking out on a regular basis... that's a different story.
     
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