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Discussion in 'Burning Issues' started by Gabriellea, May 16, 2015.

  1. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    Do you find it easy to forgive others or does it take years? I think forgiveness is something you learn how to do from an early age and if you don't, it becomes harder as you get older.

    Then there is forgiving yourself. I'm not so good at doing that either. It takes years and even then I still remember. Forgiving friends can be easier, but lovers not so much. I have let go of friends who I found too hard to forgive, because they kept repeating the same behavior over and over. As for betrayal, people get a second chance and then that's it.
  2. GoSenseless

    GoSenseless Member

    I used to be the kind of person who held no grudge when I was younger (complete opposite to my mom's family). Now, I do keep a few grudges -- people I find it hard to forgive. Even though I know that forgiving does not mean giving anyone a free pass, it's still hard to do. I prefer to avoid the people I'm hurt by than forgive them.
  3. SassyPrincess

    SassyPrincess Member

    I don't know why, but I forgive people way too easily. I care about their feelings too much and I don't want to hurt their feelings so I just forgive them. But I've been trying my hardest to stop forgiving people who doesn't deserve forgiveness too easily.
  4. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    I try to forgive, for my own peace of mind. I'm not always successful. Sometimes, it's a work in progress, because even when I think I've done so, I find myself revisiting those bad feelings.

    Forgiving yourself may be the hardest of all. It is for me anyway. I'm much harder on myself than I am on other people.
    Gabriellea likes this.
  5. Gabriellea

    Gabriellea Active Member

    Forgiveness is something we can't measure. We think and feel we have forgiven at times and then something crops up and makes you rethink it all.

    I do agree forgiving yourself can be hard, and I am hard on myself and there is no one that can alleviate that. How I try to see things is that it's human, and that it's okay to make mistakes, but still a part niggles me when I think and know I should have done things differently. Sometimes I think fate has a hand in it all, and maybe we couldn't have done any more.
  6. Zynni

    Zynni Member

    Very true. One little "trigger" (although I hate to use that word these days) can send it all crashing down on our heads again.

    I try to think of it like this: I give other people second chances, so shouldn't I get a second chance too? I need to allow myself the same pardon as I allow others. Easier said than done.

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