[E! Celebrities] Britney Spears

[GoogleNews]

The Elvis Presley of our day, and not necessarily in a good way. He devolved from a talented, charismatic performer into a bloated tragic figure. Now we get to watch Brit tumble from a virginal pop tartlet/snake charmer into the flip-flop-favoring, car-seat-hating baby mama and wife of Kevin Federline. Wait, this is the prodigy of infectious pop? The gal who made Baby, One More Time? Holy Tiger Beat, we just can't believe it. For the sake of Sean Preston, we hope this Louisiana lass wakes up and smells the fried bananas: Toxicity, thy name is Federline.

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